REALITY IS – – ??

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What is Reality?

Reality is what happened in Nepal Earthquakes..
Reality is what happened in Kedarnath Floods..
Reality is what happened in Japan Tsunami..
Reality is what happened in Mount Everest Avalanche..

Reality is the uncertainty of the next moment.

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We are all aware of this reality, this truth. Still, we spend time, planning, analyzing, calculating. Still, we develop feelings of jealousy, disappointment, dislike, anger, dissatisfaction. Still, we keep ourselves busy comparing, complaining and cribbing.
What for? For the future? For the moment which you are not sure to see. For tomorrow, which may never come?

Life is unpredictable.
Live in present.
Enjoy the present.
Live every moment as if it’s your last.
Be Kind and Helpful.

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We all need to learn from these natural disasters. We shall all act on these alarms before it’s too late. It’s our interference with nature, which leads up to such disasters. We need to respect nature.
In this pathetic situation of Nepal Disaster, I urge everyone who is safe to pray for the well being of victims.

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O GOD! PLEASE BE KIND!!
Please give peace, courage and strength to the victims and bereaved families,
Please enlighten a ray of hope and show them a path,
Please help them in moving forward,
Please rescue them all from this disaster.
O GOD! PLEASE BE KIND!!
O GOD! PLEASE BE KIND!!

FORMULA FOR LIFE + + * *

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Formula, Equations, Theorems, Derivations, Rules, Protocols – We have them all around us guiding us.

What to do? How to do? Where to do? When to do? Why to do?

But, applying these formulas is not so easy. All of them do come with certain conditions, limitations and exceptions. If we ignore them, we will land up with wrong results.

How about our life? Does it also come with a formula, a set of instructions, a collection of guidelines?

Well, not exactly the mathematical formulas, but there are rules and protocols based on previous experiences. These are passed on from generation to generation based on the experiences of our ancestors.

Now, have you ever played the “Chinese whisper” game?

It is a game played around the world, in which one person whispers a message to another, which is passed through a line of people until the last player announces the message to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in the retelling, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly, and often amusingly, from the one uttered by the first.

With this what I am trying to emphasize is that when the rules and protocols get passed on they differ significantly from the actual one. The most common flaw that stays is the inclusion of conditions and limitations. What may be a right step in one situation can prove to be a wrong step in the other.

For instance,  it’s good to help the needy and poor. But, doing so to lure them for votes and politics is wrong.

Every rule is conditional. Many a times we follow the rules, but leave the conditions behind.

Have you ever faced these questions-

What to do? How to do? Where to do? When to do? Why to do?

We try to explore them to some extent. But, still there are lots of people who live their life without searching for answers to these questions. Instead of thinking, how we want to live our life, how we can decide what/when/where  we can do, we just look at our parents, society, friends and colleagues. Instead of deciding our own path, and analyzing the pros and cons we just start moving on their path. We blindly follow all others.

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Is it the right approach?

With this analysis, I am not trying to offend or dis-respect our elders. They do teach us good lessons and we have a lot to learn from their experiences. The only thing is, we shall understand the meaning behind every approach, every step. We shall follow the path shown by them, not just for the sake of following but for the sake of learning and understanding. We shall always be convinced of what we do. Being a blind follower takes us away from reality and satisfaction.

Lets share one story.

There used to be a closed room with a big ladder. On top of the ladder there was a platform with bananas on it. Then, monkeys were left in the room. Location of bananas was shown to them. The room was closed and a camera was placed in the room. All  monkeys approached the ladder. Some of them quickly started climbing and others were  left behind. They, then tried pulling back the other monkeys climbing the ladder. The struggle continued and after a while some of the monkeys  were replaced with new ones. Monkeys were replaced again and again. Every time, a new monkey entered, he started following the same activity. After a few more attempts, even the bananas kept on top was removed.

Now what?

Nothing changed?

The monkeys still continued climbing and pulling down.

They just continued climbing looking at their previous counterparts. But, they are not aware of the motive behind it – Bananas. The motive was gone, but they all still continued the same activity. None of them bothered about why they are doing so? What will they achieve on climbing?

This is what happens with most of us. We are not aware of the motive, circumstances and requirements. We just become a blind follower without analyzing what & why we are doing?

I will just conclude saying:

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN MIND,

WHICH CAN THINK AND ANALYSE.

NEVER BECOME A BLIND FOLLOWER.

JUST THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!!

LIFE DOES NOT COME WITH A UNIVERSAL FORMULA,

IT’S YOU AND ONLY YOU WHO CAN CREATE IT FOR YOUR LIFE!!

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|| Choose your PATH ||

cover pic cyp We all set certain targets in our life. We want to achieve these targets, reach the destination and prove ourselves. These targets may be social, professional or personal. With the specified destination in place our next challenge comes to deciding its path. All of us have different parameters to choose this path. We choose: – Actual Path – Easy Path – Fast path

ACTUAL PATH: The path of honesty, truth, hard work and challenges. It is the most difficult of all but at the same time it’s the Best.

EASY PATH: Pulling behind / cutting the roots of others so that benchmark falls down.

FAST PATH: Taking shortcuts. Instead of building your own ladder, you dump down someone already walking and climb over him instead of a ladder. If you reach up too high, too soon, just remember your foundation stays unstable. Only actual path gives a firm foundation. Easy/fast paths do not. People following these fall down easily as the foundation collapses.

THE PATH OF TRUTH, THE PATH OF HONESTY,
THE PATH OF HARD WORK, THE PATH OF DETERMINATION,
IT’S ALWAYS DIFFICULT
BUT, ALSO STABLE.

THE PATH OF BETRAYAL, THE PATH OF CHEATING,
THE PATH OF CLEVERNESS, THE PATH OF WRONG DOING,
IT’S EASY AND FAST,
BUT, NEVER STABLE.

IT’S UPTO YOU, TO CHOOSE,

TO CHOOSE IF YOU WANT TO RISE AND RETAIN THE HEIGHT,
OR RISE AND COLLAPSE DOWN.
TO CHOOSE IF YOU WANT TO GIVE SOME TIME FOR STABILITY,
OR KEEP IT FAST AND UNSTABLE.
TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A FIRM AND STRONG FOUNDATION,
OR A TEMPERORY, WEAK AND FALSE FOUNDATION.

IT’S ALL UPTO YOU,

TO DESIGN YOUR FUTURE,
AND DECIDE YOUR DESINATION.
TO CHOOSE, WHAT YOU WANT?
AND WHICH PATH TO FOLLOW?

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What YOU Want?

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Let us start with a few basic questions for you all:

1) What you want?
2) Why you want?
3) For whom you want?
4) What if you do not get what you want?

Look at your past and try to capture all instances that you can recall. It can be anything. Peace of mind, good health, good job, huge salary, car, home, power, fame, etc. etc. This gives the answer to our first question.

Now, ask yourself “Why”? Is it a necessity? Is it a luxury? Or is it a matter of status symbol?
Above answer can further be classified by the response on third one – “For WHOM? Is it for yourself? Your own requirement, satisfaction or contentment? Is it for your family, relatives, friends? Is it to serve them or show them?”
And last but not the least, go back and imagine not getting what you want. What could have been the possible repercussion in that scenario? How it would have made an impact on your living?

Enough of thought process for my readers. Now, let’s come to the point.

As per my analysis, more than 50% of the things we want are for the sake of showing to society. What they will think, what they will say guides our actions. These are the things which we particularly do not need for a living, but just to maintain a status quo. And this means our life is controlled by this society.

“WE ARE NOT LIVING THE WAY WE WANT, BUT THE WAY THEY WANT”.

I know some of you are still not convinced. There are more questions for you.

1) Suppose you get a choice of choosing a small segment car and a high segment luxury car. You need not bear the price and it will be chauffeur driven. Which one you will choose?

Answer 1: Of course the luxury car! It will put a good impression on my social circle.

Answer 2: Any car will do. I am not getting the driving experience, so it hardly makes a difference provided the passenger seats are equally comfortable.

2) Suppose you get a choice of choosing from an invisible Jewellery. It’s good, heavy, beautiful, costly. You can wear it, feel it, see it. But, nobody else can see it. Will you like to buy it?

Answer 1: No way. What’s the use if no one else can see it.

Answer 2: ??

No other answer exists. Jewelry is just to show around.
Isn’t it peculiar. There are hundreds of people around you who don’t even get a daily meal. But, you get contentment not in providing them a meal, but in boasting around with your costly jewelry. I know it will sound foolish to many, but the fact stays the fact. And the fact is:

“PRICELESS THINGS ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN THE HIGHLY PRICED THINGS”

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It’s time to think before it’s too late.

What do you want from yourself, your life?
What gives you satisfaction and contentment?
What you enjoy and like to do?
What is it without which you feel your life is incomplete?

THINK. DECIDE. ACT.

STOP LIVING THE WAY THIS SOCIETY WANTS !!
START LIVING THE WAY YOU WANT !!

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EXCEPTIONAL EXPECTATIONS

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“Expectations” – Almost all of us are surrounded by this word, this feeling. There are different levels, different platforms and different viewpoints for these expectations, but the absence of “expectations”- it’s the rarest of rare.

Seems like, the above lines have triggered your brain. So, what are you thinking?

How true it is?

I too have expectations.

From my family, friends, collegues , office, government and the list go on and on.

It’s said that ideally we should not have expectations. The more you expect, the more you suffer from disappointment. But, are we able to fit these ideologies practically? Is it wrong

To expect care, concern and love from family.

To expect help, trust and understanding from friends.

To expect coordination, cooperation and support from colleagues.

To expect respect, recognition and justice in office.

To expect good infrastructure, law and order from the government.

To expect good and hygienic food in restaurants.

To expect reliable products from shopkeepers.

And, here comes the twist.

What are our Expectations?

What are our Aspirations?

What do we Deserve?

What is our Right?

We often mix and use all of these interchangeably.

What we deserve and what is our right, both have realistic boundaries. Their levels can be clearly defined.

If you have written all your answers correctly, you deserve good marks.

If you can give this much of the output, you deserve this salary/gift.

If you pay your taxes on time, you have the right to get better infrastructure.

If you pay in a restaurant / shop, you have to right to claim quality and reliability of product received.

But, what we expect, what are our ambitions/ aspirations, they do not have any pre-defined limits. At times we set these limits as per our desires and at times there are no boundaries at all. They are spread across a vast range. They totally depend on us. Our thinking, our efforts and our understanding.

If you did your papers well and expect to be class topper, it’s a limit set by you. You don’t deserve it unless there is none of the other students who have performed better than you.

If you did your best in the office, you expect X% increment. Again a limit set by you. You deserve best increment, but it may be less, equal or more than X%.

EXP VS REALITY

If you expect care and love of family, trust of friends, coordination from colleagues, it is just your wish, your limit.  It is not necessary that what we expect is what they will give. They will give as per their wish, their limits.

It’s up to us to decide on the levels of expectations, but we can not control beyond this decision. Even after doing our best and setting a good example from our side we need to be well aware of the fact, that we can set our limits but we cannot define / guide others. They will behave the way they want. When they do not synchronize with our level, we start cribbing.

Is it right? Are we authorized to speak for limits of other people?

The answer is – “NO”.

Do your best. Do what satisfies you. But, not with the feeling of expecting back the same return but with the feeling of satisfying your own conscious.

EXP FM OTHERS

And now, last but not the least – our aspirations, dreams and ambitions.

They are the ones for which we are passionate. Pursuing these gives us contentment, pleasure, happiness and a feeling of utmost satisfaction, a feeling of doing something worthy and meaningful, a feeling of living our life in true sense! It’s our own efforts, decisions, and hard work that makes these dreams true. Aspiration is not an expectation from others, but from yourself. You have all the capability to control it, achieve it, live it.

It’s our right, to get our RIGHTS,

It’s the result of our efforts, which is what we DESERVE,

It’s the limit of our EXPECTATIONS, which decide if they can be real,

It’s our determination, which helps in achieving our ASPIRATION.

Setting up exceptionally high standards of our expectations only ends up making our life a mess full of complaints, dissatisfaction and disappointment. But, having no expectation at all may also end up with people taking our advantage. It’s up to us to clearly define the limits of these expectations. In my view, they shall neither be exceptionally low nor exceptionally high.

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Expectations with low limits take us to exploitation

Expectations with justified limits takes us to satisfaction

Expectations with high limits takes us to frustation

These limits,  are in our own hands,

We are the ones who set them

And we are the ones who choose

To be exploited,  satisfied , frustrated.

So, choose your limit

And choose your happiness,

It’s there…

Within YOU :)

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NUMBER GAME

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Have you ever imagined a life without numbers?

Ofcourse, we have lots of Mathematics haters across the globe & I hear them unanimously saying, “YES”. But, have you ever thought how easy or difficult it could be?

For those who have said “NO”, who have accepted numbers as integral part of their life, I have another question?

Do you rule these numbers?
Or, is it the numbers that rules your life?

Sounds amazing, but we have given these numbers enough powers to rule & control our lives.

Let’s just explore one lifecycle in the presence of these numbers.

This “Number Game” starts the moment we are born. The control of our entire destiny is given to numbers. The numbers which define our date of birth, time of birth & longitude/latitude of our place of birth. The control of new born’s health is again given to numbers, which tells our weight, hemoglobin, heart beats, blood cells count etc. etc.

Then starts calculation of age, numbers of day, months & years, which keeps on guiding what we shall be capable of doing when? Elders start setting up their expectation levels – when to eat, when to walk & when to talk.

Once we reach school, we are trapped in a never ending web of numbers – numbers, percentage, rank. Our success is measured on this scale of numbers.

And, once we start job, it’s our salary that tells the world how capable we are?

High percentage means we are intelligent.

High salary means we have a good job.

More number of friends means we are social.

Buying a costly thing means its better.

Besides this, our age, our driving speed, our bank balance & the value of our possessions are governing factors in deciding our importance & stature in this society.

Our value is rarely decided by our nature, behavior, attitude, honesty & sincerity, but by the numbers surrounding us. We ourselves give the control of our lives in the hands of these lifeless numbers.

Now, let’s explore the second scenario, our lifecycle in the absence of numbers.

Our destiny stays in our own hands; it’s no more guided by our date & time of birth. This means it gives me a feeling of framing my future with my own doings. It gives me the ownership of all good & bad that happens with me. And, once we have the responsibility, we do our best. We no longer have the excuse of blaming our destiny.

Our health is governed by how fit & fine we look. (There is no compromise with numbers used in our health check-ups, but yes, excessive monitoring is not required).

Our knowledge & intelligence will be measured by what we have learnt & what we have understood and not just by what we wrote to get good marks.

Our job will be evaluated by the type of work & how sincerely we perform because salary is not a measure of individual’s performance but also of company’s performance & guidelines.

The value of whatever we buy will not be evaluated by its cost but its specifications, performance & requirement.

No, we cannot eliminate numbers from our lives. They are essential & important. But, we shall keep them at a place they deserve. Numbers are of course, good means of measurement but they are not always good judges & rulers. Numbers have power but they don’t have enough power that can dominate your nature, behavior, honesty, dedication & commitment. Numbers alone are certainly not the parameter of deciding – Who we are? And What we are?

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD CANNOT BE COUNTED.

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD CANNOT BE MEASURED.

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD CANNOT BE CALCULATED.

THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT CAN –

ONLY BE EXPRESSED.

ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD.

ONLY BE FELT.

AND THESE CERTAIN THINGS ARE THE ONES,

THAT REALLY DEFINE OUR LIVES

AND MATTER THE MOST.

P.S.: I love Mathematics & I love numbers but I just hate them when they start ruling my life.

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REASONING – “THE REASONS”

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REASONING – A word with which all of are familiar, a word with which we deal in our day to day life.

We are always involved in reasoning for something or other, be it what to eat, what to wear, where to go, what to do, what to buy, what to say & the list goes on.

Today I would like to focus on the reasoning for “REASONS”.

REASON – “An explanation, justification, logical thinking & understanding for an action or event.”

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Every rational thinker will always apply reason to & for everything. In fact, we all adopt rational approach for most of the things in our lives. But the question arises- Why & How these reasons impact our decisions, how they guide us on what to do and what not to do?

Are reasons just a medium/ path to reach our pre-defined / desired destination? Or they serve as guide which tells us which path to follow?

Reasoning is actually helping us in taking decisions & in attaining our goals, our targets, our focal points. It is these goals which lead us to land up in the process of reasoning.

For instance, when you decide to become an engineer, you have a goal in front of you & to achieve this goal you find a reason to pursue a degree in engineering.

When you decide to have lunch, you have the desire to eat (may be for hunger, may be for your taste buds) & then you find a reason to decide what to eat?

David Hume’s quote is the best fit here:

“REASONS IS, AND OUGHT ONLY TO BE THE SLAVE OF THE PASSIONS, AND CAN NEVER PRETEND TO ANY OTHER OFFICE THAN TO SERVE AND OBEY THEM.”

So, it’s our desires/ passions that gives us a destination & thereafter, we start finding reasons to reach that. These reasons give shape to our actions.

For fulfilling our wishes / desires & reaching our goals we start questioning ourselves? We start analyzing, why, where, what, how & when? With answer to every question, we start getting reasons & paths & we start deciding our action plan.

Leaving apart, the impulsive / sensory reflexes, where our body responds much faster than we think, all other actions are guided by some reasoning behind them.

There is always some logic, some justification, and some explanation for what we do.

But, everyone has different reasons for same circumstances. All of us have different priorities, preferences & tastes. So, even when we feel that we are thinking & analyzing with our best ability, it does not mean that we are always reaching the best or correct judgment. Every action has reasoning but every reason does not reach the same conclusion. This is what makes this world so complex & diversified. Even when we talk on some general issues, where we want to have a universal answer, we are unable to reach a well agreed conclusion. Every individual has a unique way thinking, a different perception & viewpoint. We all do reasoning, but we reach the conclusion that appeals us the most.

We choose the path that seems most comfortable to us i.e., we act in a way which helps us in driving us towards our desires.

As the reasons are not a result of honest & logical understanding but in fact the slave of our own desires, we all tend to behave differently.

So, in a nutshell we can conclude, it is not the logic, it is not the circumstances, it is not the right or wrong concept, it is actually the “REASONS” which tell us what we ought to do? And, these “REASONS” show us the way as per our “DESIRES”. So, we ought to do what we like, we ought to do what we want , we ought to do what we feel comfortable, we ought to do what we enjoy, but for all these questions we find an explanation in the form of “REASONS”, we justify each & everything with a rational approach & thereafter act accordingly.

“REASONS TELL US HOW TO GET WHAT WE WANT”.

And what we want is told to us by our feelings/ desires.

Reasons help us in reaching an agreement to behave / act in a particular manner.

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But, at times we must have heard of “Irrational” behavior also. Although we say that reason is a way of rational thinking, but in my view “irrational” responses are also a result of reasons. Yes, at times we have some desire but we are unable to find a proper logic or explanation to fulfill it. Those are the times when we tend to think that everything does not need a reason & we move ahead to fulfill our desire. But, actually here also we are giving a reason, that “everything does not need a reason”.

So, this is the power of reason.

And this clarifies the strong relationship of reasons & actions.

Every move, every decision, and every action – everything is told to us by “REASONS”.

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