RELATIONSHIPS REDEFINED…

RELATIONSHIP BLOG

“Relationships” — The word is so big…the meaning is even bigger.

Let’s start with the dictionary meaning — “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”

So, here I am going to talk about relationships of people…how they are connected….and what does that means…something that is beyond dictionary meaning. More than half of the world deals with problems in one relation or the other. So, I am just trying to explore the essence of this word w.r.t. different types of relations that we are engaged with.

Even before we take birth on this earth, we are bonded by a word called “Relationship”. The first relation we are associated with is that of a Mother & Child. And the day we are born we are tied up with so many bondings…so many relations…our grandparents, parents, siblings, uncles, aunts and lot more.

And there is one more relation….a unique type with the one who can’t be seen by eyes…who can’t be heard by ears…that’s our relation with GOD.

We don’t have the faintest idea of what these words means and it is assumed that we will learn as we grow. These blood relations are implied on us not by choice but by GOD, by destiny… and as we grow we mould their meanings the way we like.

There are few relations that are based on our choice as well… – FRIENDS & SPOUSE … but we often see troubles in these too….Why? Does that mean we were not wise enough to choose the right candidate….? Does that mean we are not qualified enough to choose? Or does that mean we don’t really understand what to look for…what to expect for..?

For some of us, they just remain words by which we are supposed to greet each other….for some they become implied boundations which we are just supposed to follow without an escape route….. for some they are duties that are to be followed too religiously in a particular, defined manner ….and  for some they are “FEELINGS WITH MEANINGS” ….they are feelings to be felt….feelings to be enjoyed…feelings to be cherished…feelings to be expressed… 🙂

Just attaching a tag name of son or brother does not suffice your relation unless your heart speaks with that love and concern for your parents & siblings.

In my perspective, relations are not the words that need to be defined…they are to be understood

This is not mathematics with theorems & definitions… There is no measure for love, affection, care & kindness….

There is no definition for relations…

But there is one truth about relations….if they are pure …they are not for selfishness…they are not for your self- interest…as they involve mutual consent on both sides… They are not for give and take…but they are certainly for exchange of happiness, pleasure & affection from both sides….They have a foundation of trust , faith, & sacrifices…They are not built by force or compulsions…but by feelings inside..

That is why, true relations are ones which don’t fade by distance….for your hearts are always connected…  🙂

I would just like to take few examples,

The relation of Mother & Child :

The purest relation of all…engrossed with love, affection, trust, faith, concern, care..and the list goes on. If we look at an infant baby, it’s Mom who is at the giving end… she feeds , she cares, she sacrifices , she loves…and what she gets in return – “Immense Happiness”. This is the relation which starts when child cannot speak, when the child is not aware of the meanings of words spoken in his/her ears… but still a crying child wants to go in mother’s arm when hungry & father’s arm for roaming around… Have you ever imagined how infant baby understands????

Because infant baby feels it…the love…the care… their pure heart know what is to be felt.

But, when children grow up…, it’s for them to give respect to that love and care with which they are nurtured and grown up. Some children give it and some doesn’t. Some listen to their heart and some listen to their matured brains which works on logic…which thinks about profit & loss… which thinks of business even in relations…

But, Mom’s love …it stays the same…as it was unconditional, without expectations, without any self interest. It’s just that if we respect them, we add on to their happiness and this is the least we can do.

Our relation with GOD :

Have you seen GOD, have you heard GOD, have you talked to HIM…. “NO”. Then, what binds you to HIM…. They are our feelings of course, feeling of trust & faith, feeling which tells us that HE exists, feelings which tells us that HE listens…

So, the same goes with all other relations—- For me

“RELATIONSHIPS MEANS THE EXCHANGE OF FEELINGS OF LOVE, AFFECTION, CARE, CONCERN, TRUST, FAITH, RESPECT ETC. BETWEEN TWO….. AND IF WE CAN FEEL IT…WE CAN GIVE TRUE ESSENCE TO THE WORDS CALLED MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER, SISTER, HUSBAND, WIFE, UNCLE, AUNTS, NEPHEWS, NIECE, FRIENDS AND ABOVE ALL THE ONE AND ONLY ONE—- ALMIGHTY GOD.”

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13 thoughts on “RELATIONSHIPS REDEFINED…

  1. Quite interesting that you’ve analysed “Friend” and “Spouse” together! I find that wrong given that friends are friends, but Spouse is family. That changes the relationship dynamic significantly!

    I could, of course, argue further. For example, aren’t “Give and Take” and “Exchange” exactly the same? Even further, not everyone believes in GOD. Many who do believe in God, do not believe God is HE (None of Sun/Durga/Ik-Onkar are male).

    Ya, I do agree when you say about relationships: “for some they are Duties that are to be followed, for others they are feelings to be felt, enjoyed, Cherished and Expressed”. However, which option is “Right/Sahi”, I don’t think anyone knows for sure.

    And therein lies the rub.

    • Hey… 2 have something in common doesn’t means that there is everything in common. Both relations friend/ spoue are surely different, but the only common thing was that we choose them ourselves. We can analyse, observe, judge, decide & choose. We cannot do so with parents, children, uncles, aunts and others.
      I just meant to highlight taht one can say there are problems in relations because the people we are related to think differenly and we have no control on whom we are related to.
      But this case is not valid for friends and spouse. And don’twe see any trobles in these relations?
      Another question may arise…abour arranged marriage where you don’t get enough time to explore your life partner…but if we keep that aside and think of love marriage than also there are plenty of unsuccessful cases.

      Now coming to the second point of “Give and Take” & “Exchange”. Well dictionary meaning is almost similar but we normally use “Give” & “Take” in terms of “quantifiable” things & objects. I have never heard anyone saying “I” take happiness ? For non-measurable entities, “exchange” seems to be better word.

      With give and take , I just wanted to signify on materialistic things… But of course there is exchange of feelings that is involved to bind the two in a relation.

      The example of Mother & Child wsa given for those who do not believe in GOD. The concept was to signify the importance of “feelings” in any relationship.

      About the Right option, yup we are not elgibile enough to judge that. But, I would just like to say if we do it with our heart, if we do it with a good feeling, we can give it a better meaning and a better shape.

      Hope am able to clarify some of your points. Thanks for the valuable feedback. Looking forward to listen more from you. That is how we can come to a better conclusion, for what I wrote here is what I think, I want to know world’s view on this and I am always ready to “redefine” it second time if I can get some better defination. 🙂

  2. Relationships is a very sensitive topic which you have touched. Both examples you quoted are not by choice,

    In first case relation is on the basis that you came to this world so it becomes important &

    second case is of utmost important and is attached to your previous post “I vs V” where I tried to explain that difference between you & yourself. If you leave your physical existance & merge yourself with the ultimate, then you become him (or her due to soham’s comment). When difference vanishes then relationship of one with itself keeps no meaning.

    Apart from these two relations, which we make in this physical (I call it physical coz it is visible & dynamic) world come with expiry, either we end up these or our life span put an end. Each one whom we call a friend/ brother, spouse or call it with any name will cry for you for a day or two & gets busy with their life. Even if he/she cries they do it for their interest or favor which they recieve from you till you are with them.

    Now on the doubt of Soham – weather it is a duty or fun? It is totally what your inner one agrees. There are lot many examples in history that Mahapurush or Maharishi’s who left their home at very early stage of their lives & didn’y bother to serve their parents in old age. But they became Sidh Yogi or mahatmas. So nothing is there to force you to perform duties failing which you will not be an ideal son/ daughter. Just listen your inner & be helpful to others, coz this way you serve Him/ Her. Rest every other relation is just scripted by Him, once the shot is picturized nobody knows each other; we only mimic as spouse, friend, brother, sister on the drama set as per our casting.

    Hope it may help!!!

    • Thnx a lot for sharing ur valuable thoughts.. Liked ur example of “Sidh Yogi or mahatmas”. Yes, I truely agree that we should follow what our heart desires, what our inner self urges to do..!!

  3. I agree feelings/emotions are foundation for any relationship. However feelings/emotions are flickering in nature, they come and go. Strong and healthy relationship builds on consistent feelings and emotions which eventually become thought patterns over a period of time. Moreover relationships are never stagnant , they evolve (mother/father to friend) , strengthens (friends to lover) , weakens (lovers to enemy) over a period of time depending on individual feelings.
    In case of mother -baby, I would say relations is still at very early stage to some extent because baby hasnt started communicating yet.
    In case of God , some are connected to god only by idol worshipping, some only by morning puja, some only by temple visit, some only by name, This makes me doubt whether their relation with god is based on learned knowledge or feelings (basis for any relation).

  4. Awesome the way you describe the relationship. Mother child relationship is the most beautiful relation in the world. Thx for sharing your view.

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