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MISUNDERSTANDING – Root cause of several conflicts, disputes, disassociations & break-ups.

It is human tendency to judge people based on their actions. We observe, judge & make some opinions about everyone surrounding us. In the process we sometimes end up with a wrong interpretation also. We shall remember that neither we nor our observations are always perfect. At times what we see is not what is behind. There may be different circumstances and reasons for a person to behave in a particular manner. What matters are the intentions.

The only way to tackle such misunderstandings is to talk, to openly explain your confusions & ask for clarifications. But, some people become so egoistic, so self obsessed, so angry or so confident that they prefer ending up the things instead of moving forward & resolving.

Before framing any such opinion, one shall listen to instincts, one shall evaluate the past records, one shall always give a second thought, one shall always analyze how trustworthy & faithful the other person was? No one can change in a day.

It’s not the person or intentions that tend to change with time its only “circumstances”.

So, if a misunderstanding is cropping in between, move forward and evaluate the circumstances in between. Focus on “what” has changed and not on “who” has changed. It’s better to cut the roots of such instances before they become too firm and you end up building a big boundary line on its foundation. Few relationships are too precious; don’t just let them fade away for mere misunderstanding.



But, again there is a word of caution. There are two faces of every coin. When I say we can be wrong at times, we can be wrong at any phase. It may also happen that the one who we trust was never worth trusting. It may happen that when something objectionable & alarming happened we ignored it thinking it’s just a misunderstanding. It may also happen that when you approached for clarifications you were misguided. There are people with dual faces, they look sweet and they attack you from back. One needs to be alert with such people. In fact, sometimes such experiences make us see everyone around us with doubt & suspicion.

With all this said, I would like to conclude that-

Listen to your mind..

Listen to your heart..

Listen to your instincts,

Watch the actions..

Frame the observations..

Do the analysis,

Try to find out..

If it’s the person..

Or the circumstances,

If it’s a correct interpretation..

Or misunderstanding,

Track the past records..

But, be alert if such instances repeat,

Don’t just ignore..

Don’t over-react,

Be balanced..

Be Calm..

Be patient,

And just move forward,

With what pleases you the most.


11 thoughts on “Understanding “MISUNDERSTANDINGS”

  1. Your observations about keeping track of what people have said/done in the recent past and about watching people’s actions are so accurate, and yet many people think it is wrong to do so. But this is life, and people are not always going to be above-board, so these are the tools a person has in situations of trying to resolve issues with other people. Years ago a psychologist told a group of us “If a person’s actions and words do not match, always go by the actions. People can say ANYthing, but actions often show the true motives of a person.” Great post, Akanksha!


  2. Its amazing, i feel when there is faith and understanding in any relation and most important when the person matters to you, you always give time to circumstances to let go.
    When we know the real self of a person we never judge a being on his acts, one must see the intention behind every act if it is good then just let go and if it is not good then also let go because your loved one was so innocent that he or she could not even lie properly..Only one thing remain at the same either awareness or anger.. LIFE IS TOO SHORT IN SOLVING PROBLEM ONE AFTER ANOTHER..EVERYTHING IS HAPPEN..YOU ARE HERE TO GIVE LOVE ONLY,IT IS OUR VERY EXISTENCE..


    • Hi…,
      Its great to read your beautiful views… only thing is sometimes our experiences make us change our viewpoints. But, all phases come on go..& there are instances when we keep revisiting our philosophies, modifying them …giving them a new shape…But, the fact is reality never changes. It always remains the same & its only our perception that keeps on changing. I truely agree that life is too short for solving problems…we should just do our best… & keep ourselves alert & aware enough to face all realities of life ..!! 🙂


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