Comfort Zone

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“COMFORT ZONE” – Well, what’s new or peculiar about it?

We all tend to have our comfort zones with respect to family, friends, acquaintances, dwelling place, workplace etc. We get so much synchronized and tuned up with this environment that we start feeling comfortable living in that. None of the place or situation is perfect. But, when we are well aware of the pros and cons, we get familiarity and preparedness which make us feel comfortable. The more we avoid changes, the more we become engulfed in these “comfort zones”. At times, we become so resistant to change that a mere thought of change starts giving us goosebumps.

And now comes the biggest questions :

What is the boundary of your comfort zone?
How rigid, it is?
How you feel about crossing this boundary? We may have following responses:

  • Case 1:

“Too rigid.
Do not want to cross comfort zone, unless necessary.
Anxious, afraid of exploring the world outside this zone.
Don’t want to take risk.”

Well, for this category, I will just say, you are missing the newness and liveliness of living life, you are missing the fun and enjoyment of exploring the unexplored, you are missing the challenges, surprises and opportunities. With your boundaries you are confining yourself to limited space in this world. You are imprisoning yourself in a cage though your wings have the capacity to fly high. My only suggestion is: Rethink and revisit your boundaries, For the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing.

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  • Case 2:

“Flexible.
Always ready to cross the boundaries.”

For this category, I will just say, keep up your flexibility and enjoy the changes. Keep flying , as for you “Sky is the limit”. But, at the same time, keep in mind that you are not overlooking your responsibilities and priorities.

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  • Case 3:

“Neither rigid nor flexible.
Depends on circumstances and responsibilities.
Can take calculated risk only in some of the areas.”

This is probably the best and practical approach. Think, Analyze, Calculate and Execute. Do not confine yourself to a small world and do not fly so high that it becomes impossible for you to return at your starting point. With every new experience, there may be a risk, learning or success. Play your cards wisely.

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OVERCOME YOUR FEAR,
BY DEVELOPING STRENGTH.

DEVELOP STRENGTH,
BY BUILDING CONFIDENCE.

BUILD CONFIDENCE,
BY TAKING CHALLENGES.

TAKE CHALLENGES,
BY EXPLORING NEW POSSIBILITIES.

MOVE OUT OF YOUR CONFINED COMFORT ZONE,
BUT DO NOT JUST FLOW.

EVALUATE YOUR RISK ZONE,
LIVE, EXPLORE, ENJOY AND GROW.

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FORMULA FOR LIFE + + * *

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Formula, Equations, Theorems, Derivations, Rules, Protocols – We have them all around us guiding us.

What to do? How to do? Where to do? When to do? Why to do?

But, applying these formulas is not so easy. All of them do come with certain conditions, limitations and exceptions. If we ignore them, we will land up with wrong results.

How about our life? Does it also come with a formula, a set of instructions, a collection of guidelines?

Well, not exactly the mathematical formulas, but there are rules and protocols based on previous experiences. These are passed on from generation to generation based on the experiences of our ancestors.

Now, have you ever played the “Chinese whisper” game?

It is a game played around the world, in which one person whispers a message to another, which is passed through a line of people until the last player announces the message to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in the retelling, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly, and often amusingly, from the one uttered by the first.

With this what I am trying to emphasize is that when the rules and protocols get passed on they differ significantly from the actual one. The most common flaw that stays is the inclusion of conditions and limitations. What may be a right step in one situation can prove to be a wrong step in the other.

For instance,  it’s good to help the needy and poor. But, doing so to lure them for votes and politics is wrong.

Every rule is conditional. Many a times we follow the rules, but leave the conditions behind.

Have you ever faced these questions-

What to do? How to do? Where to do? When to do? Why to do?

We try to explore them to some extent. But, still there are lots of people who live their life without searching for answers to these questions. Instead of thinking, how we want to live our life, how we can decide what/when/where  we can do, we just look at our parents, society, friends and colleagues. Instead of deciding our own path, and analyzing the pros and cons we just start moving on their path. We blindly follow all others.

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Is it the right approach?

With this analysis, I am not trying to offend or dis-respect our elders. They do teach us good lessons and we have a lot to learn from their experiences. The only thing is, we shall understand the meaning behind every approach, every step. We shall follow the path shown by them, not just for the sake of following but for the sake of learning and understanding. We shall always be convinced of what we do. Being a blind follower takes us away from reality and satisfaction.

Lets share one story.

There used to be a closed room with a big ladder. On top of the ladder there was a platform with bananas on it. Then, monkeys were left in the room. Location of bananas was shown to them. The room was closed and a camera was placed in the room. All  monkeys approached the ladder. Some of them quickly started climbing and others were  left behind. They, then tried pulling back the other monkeys climbing the ladder. The struggle continued and after a while some of the monkeys  were replaced with new ones. Monkeys were replaced again and again. Every time, a new monkey entered, he started following the same activity. After a few more attempts, even the bananas kept on top was removed.

Now what?

Nothing changed?

The monkeys still continued climbing and pulling down.

They just continued climbing looking at their previous counterparts. But, they are not aware of the motive behind it – Bananas. The motive was gone, but they all still continued the same activity. None of them bothered about why they are doing so? What will they achieve on climbing?

This is what happens with most of us. We are not aware of the motive, circumstances and requirements. We just become a blind follower without analyzing what & why we are doing?

I will just conclude saying:

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN MIND,

WHICH CAN THINK AND ANALYSE.

NEVER BECOME A BLIND FOLLOWER.

JUST THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!!

LIFE DOES NOT COME WITH A UNIVERSAL FORMULA,

IT’S YOU AND ONLY YOU WHO CAN CREATE IT FOR YOUR LIFE!!

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|| Choose your PATH ||

cover pic cyp We all set certain targets in our life. We want to achieve these targets, reach the destination and prove ourselves. These targets may be social, professional or personal. With the specified destination in place our next challenge comes to deciding its path. All of us have different parameters to choose this path. We choose: – Actual Path – Easy Path – Fast path

ACTUAL PATH: The path of honesty, truth, hard work and challenges. It is the most difficult of all but at the same time it’s the Best.

EASY PATH: Pulling behind / cutting the roots of others so that benchmark falls down.

FAST PATH: Taking shortcuts. Instead of building your own ladder, you dump down someone already walking and climb over him instead of a ladder. If you reach up too high, too soon, just remember your foundation stays unstable. Only actual path gives a firm foundation. Easy/fast paths do not. People following these fall down easily as the foundation collapses.

THE PATH OF TRUTH, THE PATH OF HONESTY,
THE PATH OF HARD WORK, THE PATH OF DETERMINATION,
IT’S ALWAYS DIFFICULT
BUT, ALSO STABLE.

THE PATH OF BETRAYAL, THE PATH OF CHEATING,
THE PATH OF CLEVERNESS, THE PATH OF WRONG DOING,
IT’S EASY AND FAST,
BUT, NEVER STABLE.

IT’S UPTO YOU, TO CHOOSE,

TO CHOOSE IF YOU WANT TO RISE AND RETAIN THE HEIGHT,
OR RISE AND COLLAPSE DOWN.
TO CHOOSE IF YOU WANT TO GIVE SOME TIME FOR STABILITY,
OR KEEP IT FAST AND UNSTABLE.
TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A FIRM AND STRONG FOUNDATION,
OR A TEMPERORY, WEAK AND FALSE FOUNDATION.

IT’S ALL UPTO YOU,

TO DESIGN YOUR FUTURE,
AND DECIDE YOUR DESINATION.
TO CHOOSE, WHAT YOU WANT?
AND WHICH PATH TO FOLLOW?

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What YOU Want?

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Let us start with a few basic questions for you all:

1) What you want?
2) Why you want?
3) For whom you want?
4) What if you do not get what you want?

Look at your past and try to capture all instances that you can recall. It can be anything. Peace of mind, good health, good job, huge salary, car, home, power, fame, etc. etc. This gives the answer to our first question.

Now, ask yourself “Why”? Is it a necessity? Is it a luxury? Or is it a matter of status symbol?
Above answer can further be classified by the response on third one – “For WHOM? Is it for yourself? Your own requirement, satisfaction or contentment? Is it for your family, relatives, friends? Is it to serve them or show them?”
And last but not the least, go back and imagine not getting what you want. What could have been the possible repercussion in that scenario? How it would have made an impact on your living?

Enough of thought process for my readers. Now, let’s come to the point.

As per my analysis, more than 50% of the things we want are for the sake of showing to society. What they will think, what they will say guides our actions. These are the things which we particularly do not need for a living, but just to maintain a status quo. And this means our life is controlled by this society.

“WE ARE NOT LIVING THE WAY WE WANT, BUT THE WAY THEY WANT”.

I know some of you are still not convinced. There are more questions for you.

1) Suppose you get a choice of choosing a small segment car and a high segment luxury car. You need not bear the price and it will be chauffeur driven. Which one you will choose?

Answer 1: Of course the luxury car! It will put a good impression on my social circle.

Answer 2: Any car will do. I am not getting the driving experience, so it hardly makes a difference provided the passenger seats are equally comfortable.

2) Suppose you get a choice of choosing from an invisible Jewellery. It’s good, heavy, beautiful, costly. You can wear it, feel it, see it. But, nobody else can see it. Will you like to buy it?

Answer 1: No way. What’s the use if no one else can see it.

Answer 2: ??

No other answer exists. Jewelry is just to show around.
Isn’t it peculiar. There are hundreds of people around you who don’t even get a daily meal. But, you get contentment not in providing them a meal, but in boasting around with your costly jewelry. I know it will sound foolish to many, but the fact stays the fact. And the fact is:

“PRICELESS THINGS ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN THE HIGHLY PRICED THINGS”

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It’s time to think before it’s too late.

What do you want from yourself, your life?
What gives you satisfaction and contentment?
What you enjoy and like to do?
What is it without which you feel your life is incomplete?

THINK. DECIDE. ACT.

STOP LIVING THE WAY THIS SOCIETY WANTS !!
START LIVING THE WAY YOU WANT !!

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NUMBER GAME

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Have you ever imagined a life without numbers?

Ofcourse, we have lots of Mathematics haters across the globe & I hear them unanimously saying, “YES”. But, have you ever thought how easy or difficult it could be?

For those who have said “NO”, who have accepted numbers as integral part of their life, I have another question?

Do you rule these numbers?
Or, is it the numbers that rules your life?

Sounds amazing, but we have given these numbers enough powers to rule & control our lives.

Let’s just explore one lifecycle in the presence of these numbers.

This “Number Game” starts the moment we are born. The control of our entire destiny is given to numbers. The numbers which define our date of birth, time of birth & longitude/latitude of our place of birth. The control of new born’s health is again given to numbers, which tells our weight, hemoglobin, heart beats, blood cells count etc. etc.

Then starts calculation of age, numbers of day, months & years, which keeps on guiding what we shall be capable of doing when? Elders start setting up their expectation levels – when to eat, when to walk & when to talk.

Once we reach school, we are trapped in a never ending web of numbers – numbers, percentage, rank. Our success is measured on this scale of numbers.

And, once we start job, it’s our salary that tells the world how capable we are?

High percentage means we are intelligent.

High salary means we have a good job.

More number of friends means we are social.

Buying a costly thing means its better.

Besides this, our age, our driving speed, our bank balance & the value of our possessions are governing factors in deciding our importance & stature in this society.

Our value is rarely decided by our nature, behavior, attitude, honesty & sincerity, but by the numbers surrounding us. We ourselves give the control of our lives in the hands of these lifeless numbers.

Now, let’s explore the second scenario, our lifecycle in the absence of numbers.

Our destiny stays in our own hands; it’s no more guided by our date & time of birth. This means it gives me a feeling of framing my future with my own doings. It gives me the ownership of all good & bad that happens with me. And, once we have the responsibility, we do our best. We no longer have the excuse of blaming our destiny.

Our health is governed by how fit & fine we look. (There is no compromise with numbers used in our health check-ups, but yes, excessive monitoring is not required).

Our knowledge & intelligence will be measured by what we have learnt & what we have understood and not just by what we wrote to get good marks.

Our job will be evaluated by the type of work & how sincerely we perform because salary is not a measure of individual’s performance but also of company’s performance & guidelines.

The value of whatever we buy will not be evaluated by its cost but its specifications, performance & requirement.

No, we cannot eliminate numbers from our lives. They are essential & important. But, we shall keep them at a place they deserve. Numbers are of course, good means of measurement but they are not always good judges & rulers. Numbers have power but they don’t have enough power that can dominate your nature, behavior, honesty, dedication & commitment. Numbers alone are certainly not the parameter of deciding – Who we are? And What we are?

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD CANNOT BE COUNTED.

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD CANNOT BE MEASURED.

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD CANNOT BE CALCULATED.

THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT CAN –

ONLY BE EXPRESSED.

ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD.

ONLY BE FELT.

AND THESE CERTAIN THINGS ARE THE ONES,

THAT REALLY DEFINE OUR LIVES

AND MATTER THE MOST.

P.S.: I love Mathematics & I love numbers but I just hate them when they start ruling my life.

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IT’S SUFFOCATING …

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Who are we? And, how much control we have on ourselves?

We all must have heard –

“A rotten apple spoils the whole barrel”

How true is it?

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– If you pass from a muddy pond; won’t you get stained?
– If you have a dirty hump beside you; won’t you get dirty?
– If you put a drop of fragrance in a stinking well; what will you smell?
– If the air around you is polluted; won’t you inhale that pollution too?

It appears so straightforward & easy to understand when we read above examples with reference to physical things.

But, how about relating it to your surroundings, to your acquaintances, to your family? Do their behavior, their thinking, and their actions affect our ways of living life? We sometimes feel so confident of our individuality, our principle & values, our way of living life that we never realize our environment also plays an important role in framing our actions.

It is rightly said –

“It’s not only the wrong-doer who is wrong… anyone who supports that wrong-doer is also equally wrong.”

But, now the most challenging question is –

Where to go when whole atmosphere around you is polluted…? It’s suffocating..

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STOP THINKING…START LIVING…

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Life is a complex maze. Some keep moving in its tangles without bothering why & where it is taking us. While some of us try to put an extra effort using our logic & reasoning searching for WHY & HOW and keep trying to understand it.

We land up getting some answers but we never end up getting all the answers. The more we dig, more complex & confusing it becomes. And when we are unable to reach the answers, we keep thinking, stressing ourselves, getting worried & anxious.

Just go for a flash back of your own life. How much of it was planned by you? What all worries & tensions were reasonable? In fact, of all the worries how many situations actually took you in trouble? How many of your problems you feel were in your control?

More than 80% of our lives are controlled by destiny. There is no point thinking, planning & worrying much. Live carelessly, & let the things move the way they are moving.

Imagine free flowing water in river. It flows at its own pace & as per the path defined by river bed. The moment we insert some obstruction, pebbles in it, there will be swirls & fluctuations. But, water will still flow in its own direction. These temporary obstructions only create disturbance in flow but does not change its path or destination.

Same goes with our lives. It will move a predefined path & reach a predefined destination. If we let it flow like water without bothering much on why, where, how & when then the journey becomes smooth. But, if we try to over analyze things & interfere by imposing our logical thinking at every step we end up in creating disturbance at every step. But, we can never succeed in changing the path or destination.

DO NOT THINK MUCH,
DO NOT ANALYSE MUCH,
DO NOT PLAN MUCH,
AND DO NOT EXPECT MUCH…

JUST KEEP MOVING,
ENJOYING EVERY STEP,
FACING EVERY CHALLENGE,
ACCEPTING EVERY CHANGE…

FOR LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
IN WHICH THE PATH,
AND THE DESTINATIONS,
ARE ALREADY FIXED…

BE CARELESS,
BE FREE,
STOP THINKING,
START LIVING…!!

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