Here, I want to talk about the “difference” in value of some variable in a particular closed system & its significance with respect to “tolerable” or “sustainable” limit of that particular system.
Differential pressure, Differential temperature, Differential voltage —-
Hey, are we talking about Physics here?
Absolutely NOT! Please don’t leave this page.
But, yes my interpretation is based on Physics.
Let’s take an example of a closed tank. Consider it being filled with some fluid at some pressure. Outside pressure will be atmospheric pressure & therefore the walls of tank will experience a differential pressure across them. When inside pressure reaches a particular threshold value (that depends on wall material, thickness & strength), then any increase in pressure beyond that may lead to rupture or explosion of tank walls. To prevent it, we use systems to vent our excess pressure as soon as we reach close to overpressure limit.
Now, if we take human body as “Tank” & our Emotions & Feelings as “Pressure”, we will get the answer of why we feel uncomfortable when we don’t express exactly what we feel? At times we hold our actual emotions & feelings deep inside us. Sometimes, we are so lost in grief that we don’t even feel like sharing them with the outer world & there are several reasons for it:
We don’t want them to get troubled by our troubles.
We don’t want to listen to their advice & sympathy.
We don’t want them to know we are so week.
We don’t want to be a burden searching for a shoulder to cry on.
We feel guilty & hopeless and want to get cut-off from outer world.
So, we end up holding all our pain & grief deep within us. Not talking, not communicating & not sharing with anyone around us. We may try to behave & act normally but our sub-conscious never gets affected by this illusion. There are times when it not just the other world from which we try to hide our feelings. We hide it from ourselves also. We try to be strong & keep manipulating our mind keeping ourselves busy & normal. This is really needed to come out of grief. But, when we sleep & as we wake up, our sub-conscious mind is more dominant & we feel the pain, depression & discomfort.
We need to be strong, we need to console emotions in our heart by giving logic from our mind, we need to keep ourselves busy, we need to adopt normal routine & we need to try hard to get out of our grief.
But, we should also keep in mind how strong we are? How much we can really hold? We need to find sometime for talking to ourselves & our near & dear ones. Healing from grief is a gradual process & adopting short-cuts can turn out to be risky.
So, it’s the task of close friends & family members to closely monitor the grieving person & let him/her vent out the actual feelings before reaching a threshold limit of their tolerance level.
Every human is different & every grief is different so there cannot be any specific guideline on healing time & ways to heal. Coping up with grief is a unique process for every individual & no one can guide you what you should do & what you shouldn’t.
You yourself will have to find a way for your healing. You have to introspect yourself with honesty. Too much differential between your sub-conscious & conscious mind is not good for your physical & mental health. As a consequence, you may have sleepless nights; lose your appetite, headache etc. degrading your health further.
You will surely have people around you who care for you. Never hesitate to take their support & express what you feel.
The only key to come out of depression is –
“TO EXPRESS AND NOT TO SUPPRESS”.
“TO ACCEPT AND NOT TO FORGET”.
“TO FACE THE REALITY AND NOT TO RUN”.
“TO TALK AND NOT TO STAY SILENT”.
No one knows you better than you yourself. You are your doctor & you have to decide your healing process. Please make sure that there is not much of difference between your sub-conscious & conscious mind. Please make sure that you are not lying to yourself.
Remember you are very important for your family & friends.
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
GOD also helps those who help themselves.
Hope that GOD will be kind you.
Note: It would be helpful if readers can give their suggestions on ways to cope up with grief.