“One” or “MANY” ?

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“One” or “MANY” – The question was raised in context of “BEST” Friend / Friends.

To reach the answer, first step is to define what or who a Best friend is?

Well, my previous blog defines this clearly. These are all those “Special” people who are not connected to us by blood relations, who are not a part of our family but still holds a very significant place & position in our lives. They are the ones who are with us in our joys & sorrows, who are with us even when they are miles apart, who care & share, who trust & understand, who encourage & motivate, who support & forgive, and whose company gives us so much joy & comfort that is beyond comparison.

Here are few instances, for you .

To Whom you will tell / had told when:

–          You got very good marks?

–          You cleared an entrance exam?

–          You got a great job offer?

–          You found your life partner?

–          You got a new car, new home or even a new puppy?

–          You were punished for mischief in class?

–          You met an accident?

–          You are disturbed with office politics?

–          You are disturbed with family politics?

–          You are in some terrible trouble?

–          You are fired out of your job?

–          You are unable to decide – What next?

–          You are depressed & disappointed by some bad experiences in your life?

–          You lose trust & faith in yourself?

“COME WHAT MAY… BEST FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS STAND YOUR WAY”.

BEST FRIENDS – The word is so magnificent & the relation is so Wonderful.

You can shout at them, you can laugh with them, you can cry with them, you can irritate them, you can eat up their time & brains, you can express all that you feel…  They are the ones with whom “YOU CAN BE WHAT YOU ARE”.

No formalities, no ifs & buts, no complaints, no expectations.

*****

Now, the next step – Can we have only one such person or can we have a bunch of people around us in this category?

The word “BEST” itself supersedes all standards of Good & Better. The word itself signifies its importance & uniqueness.

So, in my quest to search for this One & Only One Best Friend, I tried to explore all my Special Friends.  I came across few questions –

Who I will choose if I have to choose One ? — “I thought & thought & thought but I could not place one over another. All are important, all are special in their own way.”

Who will I go with if I have to leave all others & go to an Island ? — “ Well , I will not go along with my best friend but with my life partner probably.”

Who will I choose if whole world is coming to an end and only two can be left? — “Again, Life partner & if bachelor I will chose my best friend & his/her life partner & let them go. In case of multiple best friends, I will just close my eyes & pick up one.”

And then I concluded that yes, we can have multiple “Best Friends”

Earlier, I used to see my life on a two-dimensional plane.  There were people around me—family & friends occupying their own space. And there was little room left for my best friend, it was as if I have to remove one, create a void, and give that place to a new person if required.

But, then with experiences, with circumstances, my outlook changed. It’s never a conflict of who is on top and who is on bottom; it’s never a conflict of creating / reserving space for friends. We get different friends in different phases of life, all of them unique & special in their own way. So, if I got a “Best friend” in school, it does not over rules the possibility of getting another “best friend” in college / job, nor, does it means that I am diminishing the value of my already existing “best friend”.

The vision broadned from two-dimensional to three-dimensional.

Now, I view myself as a center of sphere. There are several concentric spheres around me, on their circumference there is lots & lots of space to accommodate more people. Also, there can be several spheres depending on type of relation & degree of closeness. Also, there can be several people on the same sphere holding the same importance in your life.

This is how I view and how I justify the fact of having several “BEST FRIENDS”. It would be great to hear your experiences & your views also on the same.

*****

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14 thoughts on ““One” or “MANY” ?

  1. I love the idea of concentric spheres. it is such a healthy way to look at relationships and our roles in them. One of the things I like about your post is the idea that we can have multiple relationships. I see my stepdaugher (teenager) struggle with this. Girls can form cliques and be so EXCLUSIVE. I want to talk to her about this idea of spheres. Nice work!

    • Hi… its really great to know that you liked the concept & idea. And it would be really nice if this will be of help to your stepdaughter.. I really feel honoured to know that my words make so much sense.. Thanks a ton..!!

  2. Nice post. There’s definitely no limit to the number of people we can let into our lives, be it best friends, or good friends, or just friends. Your concept of the spheres is spot on. You’re at the core and you have your loved ones around you, surrounding you in layers. 🙂

    I enjoyed my time at your blog!

  3. Well, I don’t want to say it again!!!

    I am not cynical about ladies or anti-feminist. Ladies have in-built special ability of multiple choices at once. Yellow can be seen by them in many way – light, medium, dark.
    similarly, they can have best friends for occasion. e.g. one of my best friend in Delhi is XYZ, but in Mumbai my best friend is ABC.

    But the moment of choosing who is best for one is entirely one’s affair. But if you call somebody best that can be Only ONE, rest can be good, better etc etc.

    BEST doesn’t wait for the moment to became Best for you. Without chances, he/ she is doing best for you in every moment, in every action, in every situation the best you can get. If you are considering different best for different occasions, that sharpely points out to me that You have’nt still felt the magic of the Best.

    Best is Yet to come, Just wait for the Right Moment for that to happen!!!

    • Yup… dunno wat is right ..wat is wrong. Wat is true..wat is false? Infact, these things can’t be generalised and may vary from person to person..may vary with experiences & circumstances. Probably, this was wat I experienced so far… & wat u say is yet to come.
      Thnx for reading & leaving ur views 🙂

  4. Nice to go through your blogs, and it was really nice to see how you explored yourself to others.

    As such every person has many friends and even I have. At tough situation, or based on the situation and based on your friends availability we will choose those particular friend and share our things.
    Similarly when someone tell me to choose who is your best friend, its almost next to impossible, and in fact its untrue, as such you will be betraying others.

    Even I believe, that every human creates a circle around him of different radii, and every other people are situated in different circles. So person nearer to you will be in less distant radii. And for a person to change from one circle to other, which we don’t know when its happen, these are all based on our daily circumstances and communications may be good or bad which takes place.

    And its also important that every human being, come out of his circle and let he/she put his feet in others shoes, then only one can know the sufferings, importance of them

    Regards,
    Shiv

  5. Nice post … but for me, I generally fairly guarded/private in my comments to others. Who knows why …. on the other hand, I’m also guarded with what people tell me – that is, I use judgment on whether or not it I am free to say it or not.

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