EXCEPTIONAL EXPECTATIONS

EXP COVER

“Expectations” – Almost all of us are surrounded by this word, this feeling. There are different levels, different platforms and different viewpoints for these expectations, but the absence of “expectations”- it’s the rarest of rare.

Seems like, the above lines have triggered your brain. So, what are you thinking?

How true it is?

I too have expectations.

From my family, friends, collegues , office, government and the list go on and on.

It’s said that ideally we should not have expectations. The more you expect, the more you suffer from disappointment. But, are we able to fit these ideologies practically? Is it wrong

To expect care, concern and love from family.

To expect help, trust and understanding from friends.

To expect coordination, cooperation and support from colleagues.

To expect respect, recognition and justice in office.

To expect good infrastructure, law and order from the government.

To expect good and hygienic food in restaurants.

To expect reliable products from shopkeepers.

And, here comes the twist.

What are our Expectations?

What are our Aspirations?

What do we Deserve?

What is our Right?

We often mix and use all of these interchangeably.

What we deserve and what is our right, both have realistic boundaries. Their levels can be clearly defined.

If you have written all your answers correctly, you deserve good marks.

If you can give this much of the output, you deserve this salary/gift.

If you pay your taxes on time, you have the right to get better infrastructure.

If you pay in a restaurant / shop, you have to right to claim quality and reliability of product received.

But, what we expect, what are our ambitions/ aspirations, they do not have any pre-defined limits. At times we set these limits as per our desires and at times there are no boundaries at all. They are spread across a vast range. They totally depend on us. Our thinking, our efforts and our understanding.

If you did your papers well and expect to be class topper, it’s a limit set by you. You don’t deserve it unless there is none of the other students who have performed better than you.

If you did your best in the office, you expect X% increment. Again a limit set by you. You deserve best increment, but it may be less, equal or more than X%.

EXP VS REALITY

If you expect care and love of family, trust of friends, coordination from colleagues, it is just your wish, your limit.  It is not necessary that what we expect is what they will give. They will give as per their wish, their limits.

It’s up to us to decide on the levels of expectations, but we can not control beyond this decision. Even after doing our best and setting a good example from our side we need to be well aware of the fact, that we can set our limits but we cannot define / guide others. They will behave the way they want. When they do not synchronize with our level, we start cribbing.

Is it right? Are we authorized to speak for limits of other people?

The answer is – “NO”.

Do your best. Do what satisfies you. But, not with the feeling of expecting back the same return but with the feeling of satisfying your own conscious.

EXP FM OTHERS

And now, last but not the least – our aspirations, dreams and ambitions.

They are the ones for which we are passionate. Pursuing these gives us contentment, pleasure, happiness and a feeling of utmost satisfaction, a feeling of doing something worthy and meaningful, a feeling of living our life in true sense! It’s our own efforts, decisions, and hard work that makes these dreams true. Aspiration is not an expectation from others, but from yourself. You have all the capability to control it, achieve it, live it.

It’s our right, to get our RIGHTS,

It’s the result of our efforts, which is what we DESERVE,

It’s the limit of our EXPECTATIONS, which decide if they can be real,

It’s our determination, which helps in achieving our ASPIRATION.

Setting up exceptionally high standards of our expectations only ends up making our life a mess full of complaints, dissatisfaction and disappointment. But, having no expectation at all may also end up with people taking our advantage. It’s up to us to clearly define the limits of these expectations. In my view, they shall neither be exceptionally low nor exceptionally high.

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Expectations with low limits take us to exploitation

Expectations with justified limits takes us to satisfaction

Expectations with high limits takes us to frustation

These limits,  are in our own hands,

We are the ones who set them

And we are the ones who choose

To be exploited,  satisfied , frustrated.

So, choose your limit

And choose your happiness,

It’s there…

Within YOU 🙂

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CELEBRATIONS…

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“CELEBRATION” – The word itself is full of enthusiasm, joy & happiness, it makes the environment so lively & cherishable, and everyone seems to be charged up with new energy.

There are so many reasons to celebrate – birthdays, anniversaries, festivals, promotions, new vehicle, home, friends/family get together and the list goes on.

Opinions differ from person to person.

Some feel, “What’s there in a day? What makes it so special that it becomes worth celebrating?”

Others feel, “It’s not just another day. We need to thank those wonderful moments that made this day special. And the best way is to celebrate them with near & dear ones.”

First approach appears more practical & the second one more realistic.

Actually, the debating issue shall not be “Celebration” or “No Celebration”? Instead it should be – How to celebrate?

There is no doubt about it that some special events of our life are worth memorizing & celebrating. But, celebrations are not just about fancy parties & precious gifts. They can be as simple as visiting your favorite park, eating your favorite sweets, visiting temple, & gifting a flower. The concept of celebrating is just to keep you away of your little worries, to forgot the negativities around you & to remind you of the happy times that fills you up with new hope, energy & positivity.

“NEVER THINK OF SAYING NO TO CELEBRATION,

JUST THINK OF A WAY OF CELEBRATION.. !!

A WAY WHICH MAKES YOU HAPPY,

AND MAKES THE DAY MEMORABLE..!!”

May GOD Bless you, & give you more and more reasons to celebrate..,

Best Wishes for a Happy, Joyful Life ahead..!!

 

Lifelong BONDING …… :)

 

marriage

Our life is like an epic…

Our life is like a music,

With new chapters…

And new lyrics….!!

The time has arrived..

To enter a new phase of life,

GOD has made a special bond….

And its time for you to tie the knots…!!

To share your joys & have fun…

To walk together & to run..!!

A lifelong companion..

A wonderful relation…!!

Its time to celebrate…

Its time to rejuvenate..!!

As two lovely hearts, two beautiful souls…

Are here today to take some vows..!!

For starting a new journey together..

And make their life better..,

With lots of love and lots of promises…

With GOD giving His special blessings…!!

Wish you both a wonderful time…

And all the happiness in life…!!

Wish you my DEAR…

A very Happy Married Life..!!

“WEDDINGS REMIND US THAT OUR LIVES HAVE MEANING AND THAT LOVE IS THE STRONGEST BOND, THE HAPPIEST JOY, AND THE LOVELIEST FEELING WE CAN EVER EXPERIENCE”.  -Daphne Rose Kingma

 

 

Joy Of Giving…..!!!!

gift

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 
― Mother Teresa

Gifts are not objects…,
Gifts are feelings…!!
It can be a rose petal or a gold coin…,,
What counts are the feelings behind…!!
Gifts don’t come with a price tag…,
They are priceless…!!
They are given not for formalities…,
But for memories..!!
Gifts are presents…,
To make your present memorable..!…
With GOD’s grace you have everything..,
But if someone’s wishes comes along with those…,
Don’t you think its worth keeping…!!
Its worth cherishing…!!
Hope it now sounds convincing…,,
That a gift is worth receiving…,!!
And you can return the favour…,
Not by questioning…??
But by understanding…,,
That what it means…??
Gifts are for joys..:)
And not for Why’s.??
Yes, its give and take..,.
A smile on your face..!!
A respect for the gift…
Is what you can give..!!
So, cheer up…& gear up…
Its time to celebrate…!!
Wish life gives you more and more reasons 2 celebrate…,
Wish life gives us more and more reasons 2 give gifts..!!
Its how the happiness spreads…
And the depressions shifts…!!
May GOD shower His blessings…,
On someone as special as you..!!
May your life be filled with happiness…,
As its meant for people like you…!!
“Give cheerfully and freely. It is the energy behind the giving that matters so do not give grudgingly. The law of cause and effect guarantees that you shall receive plenty for what you give.

—–David Cameron Gikandi

So….friends….keep giving GIFTS….:)

THE JOY OF GIVING IS BETTER THAN THE JOY OF RECEIVING

Best Of “BEST”

Best Of Best i.e., “BESTEST”.

This is what most of us looks forward for. It’s a general human nature that we look for the Bestest options.

Our thirst for satisfaction rarely dies, we keep yearning for “more”. Of course, this is essential for our growth also , if we don’t have desires, if we don’t have aims and targets we will just make ourselves stagnant. But, the point is , to what extent we should yearn for more? At times, we become so impatient that instead of enjoying what we already have, we start getting frustrated for what we don’t have. Instead of being thankful, satisfied and contented for 80-90% of the good things that we have, we waste time worrying about the remaining 10-20% that we don’t have?

It happens with most of us that if we are satisfied on personal front, we are dissatisfied on professional front, and vice versa. And at times if we are satisfied with everything in our life, we get dissatisfied by comparing ourselves to others.

I have came across several instances, like an employee complaining about the salary….then when salary comes to satisfactory level, they start complaining about type of work, then when they get good and more work, they start complaining they are over pressurised, then if superiors increases their team size to reduce their pressure they will complain that superiors don’t trust their abilities… and it becomes a vicious cycle which goes on and on… Please stop being a “Complaint Box” as it only messes up your own life.

The solution is very easy … Just spend some time with yourself…do your introspection….try to set your “PRIORITIES” and try to focus on things that matters more to you. Just find out what holds more significance for you- is it family, career, money, power, name or fame…..? Also it is important to be determined and committed to meet your goals and to set new goals once your defined goals are achieved but at the same time one should also learn to be patient….to move step by step – “No One Gets A Sudden RISE, Not Even The Sun..!!’

Always remember – “YOU CANNOT GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS”………

“ KABHI KISI KO MUKAMMAL JAHAN NAHI MILTA…, KISI KO ZAMEE, KISI KO AASMA NAHI MILTA….”

BE POSITIVE ++++

The way we think…the way we feel…the way we accept circumstances around us…it regulates the energy within us. If we think positive….then positive energy flows within us and vice versa. Even if we don’t go by this logic….it is sure that there is no harm in thinking positive & no good in thinking negative.

Then, why negative ?…Be Positive..

But, how can we feel positive when something wrong happens with us ?

If we accept few truths rather facts it will be easy to cope up with all positives and negatives in a justified way.

1)    Happiness & Sorrow both are temporary. None of them is going to last forever.
2)    Nobody’s life is a path of roses.
3)   Everything won’t happen the way you want, because its not you who is ruling the world.
4)   Excess of anything is bad (and this includes happiness also…yes…excess of happiness is also bad)

If everything happens the way we want that may also be harmful.

For instance, if you keep driving at full speed there is high probability of accident… so we have speed breakers on roads. They don’t stop us …but controls our speed so that we may keep moving safely. These speed breakers are not obstacles and are insignificant part of our journey…what matters is our Destination…

Same applies to our life… we face few bad experiences and feel depressed and disappointed. But if we see in long term, then we realise that either those experiences have taught us something positive or they were so insignificant that we don’t even remember them. We should always look at our Long term goals and not Short term goals.

Life is beautiful…and we should learn to enjoy all ups and downs..

Don’t try to race too fast and miss enjoying happy moments of life in that race…

Day and Night both are important and beautiful ….but we realise that value only because we have seen both.

Now, the question is how can a negative situation be accepted positively?

The answer is see the positive out of it… all bad experiences teaches us something so welcome them as a learning experience. It is difficult and cannot be implemented on all situations but if we try to change the way we look at the situation… we will gradually start feeling positive.

Most of the circumstances are just a matter of our perception. Just see the world around you…and you will see two categories of people :
1)    Who are depressed , sad , poor …whose every moment is filled with pain, hunger and uncertainty. But do they keep complaining…No…give them a good job and assurance they won’t be hungry and they may become happy.
2)    Who are born with silver spoon in their mouth…they have all luxuries and don’t seem to have any struggle or any reason to be unhappy. But are they happy always…a slight fall in their shares may trigger their mental peace.

So , no one is always Happy and no one is always Unhappy. And everyone has different priorities and different reasons to be happy. Now, what we need to understand is that we have to see both happy and unhappy moments in our life span and it is up to us how well we deal with them.

Never be over whelmed by your success or happiness and never be over depressed and frustrated by your bad experiences. Its all a part of life …try to be neutral and be justified in your reactions.

GOD has given us this beautiful life….family , friends…and lot more and if HE is also giving us some problems…they are just because HE wants to test our faith in HIM or to make us more STRONG… and more strong means…he is preparing us to climb the next ladder …

There is an example of how important struggles are in our life (from You Can Win by Shiv Khera) :

A caterpillar has to struggle a lot to come out of shell and become a butterfly so once a human thought of helping it out to come out of its shell.
Result : Its wings were not strong enough and it died soon.
Moral : Struggles are important in life as they give us more strength & maturity.

Nothing in this world is impossible…You just have to decide what direction you want to give to your thinking..

Wear green glasses and the world around you is green …Wear black glasses and the world around you is black..

According to me…Best option is :

See your present with White glasses and DWELL IN REALITY…!!
See your future with Green glasses and BE OPTIMISTIC…!!

“ THE POSITIVE THINKER SEES THE INVISIBLE, FEELS THE INTANGIBLE, AND ACHIEVES THE IMPOSSIBLE.”

WHAT IF … ??

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What if I take this way? What if I take that way?

What if I don’t pass my exams?

What if I don’t get a job?

What if I don’t get a good salary?

What if people make fun of me?

What if people think I am stupid?

What if I am overweight / underweight?

What if I don’t reach on time?

What if I don’t please people around me?

Just think of how many “WHAT IF….??” Questions came to your mind in last 1 year. (You are too lucky if your answer is – NONE). Now, just think of the instances that worried you. I feel more than 90% of our worries are the outcome of these “What If..?” questions.

But, its not true for all, and they live a much contended, happy life. People who live in present. Its not that these people are not ambitious and don’t care for their future. Its just that they believe in doing efforts and leave the result on GOD or destiny.

The funniest part is most of “What if ?” questions doesn’t exactly relate to your present or future , to your personal or professional growth but to your social image – what people around you will think if you take this decision. Always remember – you can never please everyone…

If you lead….people will say….you are arrogant …you don’t follow anyone..

If you follow…people will say…. you are coward…you can’t set your own path..

If you walk beside them… people will say.. .you don’t have your own individuality… you always want company..

So, if you want to be free of worries…do what you feel is right… try to please only those who are too close and special to you… Do take care of your social image…but don’t overdo it… don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.. but be straightforward & crystal clear in your talks…

DO WHAT YOU FEEL..

SPEAK WHAT YOU FEEL…

AND

FEEL WHAT YOU WANT TO FEEL..

Let your thoughts be free…let them flow like the water in the ocean… Do not interfere and impose restrictions because this is what starts disturbing our mental peace.

So, if you want to minimise your worries …you need to minimise this “What if ? “ factor. I am saying minimise it because it may not be possible to eliminate it completely.

Just try it out guys and see if it works..