Comfort Zone

COVER

“COMFORT ZONE” – Well, what’s new or peculiar about it?

We all tend to have our comfort zones with respect to family, friends, acquaintances, dwelling place, workplace etc. We get so much synchronized and tuned up with this environment that we start feeling comfortable living in that. None of the place or situation is perfect. But, when we are well aware of the pros and cons, we get familiarity and preparedness which make us feel comfortable. The more we avoid changes, the more we become engulfed in these “comfort zones”. At times, we become so resistant to change that a mere thought of change starts giving us goosebumps.

And now comes the biggest questions :

What is the boundary of your comfort zone?
How rigid, it is?
How you feel about crossing this boundary? We may have following responses:

  • Case 1:

“Too rigid.
Do not want to cross comfort zone, unless necessary.
Anxious, afraid of exploring the world outside this zone.
Don’t want to take risk.”

Well, for this category, I will just say, you are missing the newness and liveliness of living life, you are missing the fun and enjoyment of exploring the unexplored, you are missing the challenges, surprises and opportunities. With your boundaries you are confining yourself to limited space in this world. You are imprisoning yourself in a cage though your wings have the capacity to fly high. My only suggestion is: Rethink and revisit your boundaries, For the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing.

CASE 1 CASE 11 case 33

  • Case 2:

“Flexible.
Always ready to cross the boundaries.”

For this category, I will just say, keep up your flexibility and enjoy the changes. Keep flying , as for you “Sky is the limit”. But, at the same time, keep in mind that you are not overlooking your responsibilities and priorities.

CASE   2 case 22 CASE 222

  • Case 3:

“Neither rigid nor flexible.
Depends on circumstances and responsibilities.
Can take calculated risk only in some of the areas.”

This is probably the best and practical approach. Think, Analyze, Calculate and Execute. Do not confine yourself to a small world and do not fly so high that it becomes impossible for you to return at your starting point. With every new experience, there may be a risk, learning or success. Play your cards wisely.

Case 3 case 33

OVERCOME YOUR FEAR,
BY DEVELOPING STRENGTH.

DEVELOP STRENGTH,
BY BUILDING CONFIDENCE.

BUILD CONFIDENCE,
BY TAKING CHALLENGES.

TAKE CHALLENGES,
BY EXPLORING NEW POSSIBILITIES.

MOVE OUT OF YOUR CONFINED COMFORT ZONE,
BUT DO NOT JUST FLOW.

EVALUATE YOUR RISK ZONE,
LIVE, EXPLORE, ENJOY AND GROW.

END endddd

REALITY IS – – ??

nd

What is Reality?

Reality is what happened in Nepal Earthquakes..
Reality is what happened in Kedarnath Floods..
Reality is what happened in Japan Tsunami..
Reality is what happened in Mount Everest Avalanche..

Reality is the uncertainty of the next moment.

nd2

We are all aware of this reality, this truth. Still, we spend time, planning, analyzing, calculating. Still, we develop feelings of jealousy, disappointment, dislike, anger, dissatisfaction. Still, we keep ourselves busy comparing, complaining and cribbing.
What for? For the future? For the moment which you are not sure to see. For tomorrow, which may never come?

Life is unpredictable.
Live in present.
Enjoy the present.
Live every moment as if it’s your last.
Be Kind and Helpful.

nd4

We all need to learn from these natural disasters. We shall all act on these alarms before it’s too late. It’s our interference with nature, which leads up to such disasters. We need to respect nature.
In this pathetic situation of Nepal Disaster, I urge everyone who is safe to pray for the well being of victims.

pray

O GOD! PLEASE BE KIND!!
Please give peace, courage and strength to the victims and bereaved families,
Please enlighten a ray of hope and show them a path,
Please help them in moving forward,
Please rescue them all from this disaster.
O GOD! PLEASE BE KIND!!
O GOD! PLEASE BE KIND!!

What YOU Want?

COVER
Let us start with a few basic questions for you all:

1) What you want?
2) Why you want?
3) For whom you want?
4) What if you do not get what you want?

Look at your past and try to capture all instances that you can recall. It can be anything. Peace of mind, good health, good job, huge salary, car, home, power, fame, etc. etc. This gives the answer to our first question.

Now, ask yourself “Why”? Is it a necessity? Is it a luxury? Or is it a matter of status symbol?
Above answer can further be classified by the response on third one – “For WHOM? Is it for yourself? Your own requirement, satisfaction or contentment? Is it for your family, relatives, friends? Is it to serve them or show them?”
And last but not the least, go back and imagine not getting what you want. What could have been the possible repercussion in that scenario? How it would have made an impact on your living?

Enough of thought process for my readers. Now, let’s come to the point.

As per my analysis, more than 50% of the things we want are for the sake of showing to society. What they will think, what they will say guides our actions. These are the things which we particularly do not need for a living, but just to maintain a status quo. And this means our life is controlled by this society.

“WE ARE NOT LIVING THE WAY WE WANT, BUT THE WAY THEY WANT”.

I know some of you are still not convinced. There are more questions for you.

1) Suppose you get a choice of choosing a small segment car and a high segment luxury car. You need not bear the price and it will be chauffeur driven. Which one you will choose?

Answer 1: Of course the luxury car! It will put a good impression on my social circle.

Answer 2: Any car will do. I am not getting the driving experience, so it hardly makes a difference provided the passenger seats are equally comfortable.

2) Suppose you get a choice of choosing from an invisible Jewellery. It’s good, heavy, beautiful, costly. You can wear it, feel it, see it. But, nobody else can see it. Will you like to buy it?

Answer 1: No way. What’s the use if no one else can see it.

Answer 2: ??

No other answer exists. Jewelry is just to show around.
Isn’t it peculiar. There are hundreds of people around you who don’t even get a daily meal. But, you get contentment not in providing them a meal, but in boasting around with your costly jewelry. I know it will sound foolish to many, but the fact stays the fact. And the fact is:

“PRICELESS THINGS ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN THE HIGHLY PRICED THINGS”

W COMIC

It’s time to think before it’s too late.

What do you want from yourself, your life?
What gives you satisfaction and contentment?
What you enjoy and like to do?
What is it without which you feel your life is incomplete?

THINK. DECIDE. ACT.

STOP LIVING THE WAY THIS SOCIETY WANTS !!
START LIVING THE WAY YOU WANT !!

be-who-you-want-to-be-not-what-others-want-to-see

EXCEPTIONAL EXPECTATIONS

EXP COVER

“Expectations” – Almost all of us are surrounded by this word, this feeling. There are different levels, different platforms and different viewpoints for these expectations, but the absence of “expectations”- it’s the rarest of rare.

Seems like, the above lines have triggered your brain. So, what are you thinking?

How true it is?

I too have expectations.

From my family, friends, collegues , office, government and the list go on and on.

It’s said that ideally we should not have expectations. The more you expect, the more you suffer from disappointment. But, are we able to fit these ideologies practically? Is it wrong

To expect care, concern and love from family.

To expect help, trust and understanding from friends.

To expect coordination, cooperation and support from colleagues.

To expect respect, recognition and justice in office.

To expect good infrastructure, law and order from the government.

To expect good and hygienic food in restaurants.

To expect reliable products from shopkeepers.

And, here comes the twist.

What are our Expectations?

What are our Aspirations?

What do we Deserve?

What is our Right?

We often mix and use all of these interchangeably.

What we deserve and what is our right, both have realistic boundaries. Their levels can be clearly defined.

If you have written all your answers correctly, you deserve good marks.

If you can give this much of the output, you deserve this salary/gift.

If you pay your taxes on time, you have the right to get better infrastructure.

If you pay in a restaurant / shop, you have to right to claim quality and reliability of product received.

But, what we expect, what are our ambitions/ aspirations, they do not have any pre-defined limits. At times we set these limits as per our desires and at times there are no boundaries at all. They are spread across a vast range. They totally depend on us. Our thinking, our efforts and our understanding.

If you did your papers well and expect to be class topper, it’s a limit set by you. You don’t deserve it unless there is none of the other students who have performed better than you.

If you did your best in the office, you expect X% increment. Again a limit set by you. You deserve best increment, but it may be less, equal or more than X%.

EXP VS REALITY

If you expect care and love of family, trust of friends, coordination from colleagues, it is just your wish, your limit.  It is not necessary that what we expect is what they will give. They will give as per their wish, their limits.

It’s up to us to decide on the levels of expectations, but we can not control beyond this decision. Even after doing our best and setting a good example from our side we need to be well aware of the fact, that we can set our limits but we cannot define / guide others. They will behave the way they want. When they do not synchronize with our level, we start cribbing.

Is it right? Are we authorized to speak for limits of other people?

The answer is – “NO”.

Do your best. Do what satisfies you. But, not with the feeling of expecting back the same return but with the feeling of satisfying your own conscious.

EXP FM OTHERS

And now, last but not the least – our aspirations, dreams and ambitions.

They are the ones for which we are passionate. Pursuing these gives us contentment, pleasure, happiness and a feeling of utmost satisfaction, a feeling of doing something worthy and meaningful, a feeling of living our life in true sense! It’s our own efforts, decisions, and hard work that makes these dreams true. Aspiration is not an expectation from others, but from yourself. You have all the capability to control it, achieve it, live it.

It’s our right, to get our RIGHTS,

It’s the result of our efforts, which is what we DESERVE,

It’s the limit of our EXPECTATIONS, which decide if they can be real,

It’s our determination, which helps in achieving our ASPIRATION.

Setting up exceptionally high standards of our expectations only ends up making our life a mess full of complaints, dissatisfaction and disappointment. But, having no expectation at all may also end up with people taking our advantage. It’s up to us to clearly define the limits of these expectations. In my view, they shall neither be exceptionally low nor exceptionally high.

 ME_399_Expectations

Expectations with low limits take us to exploitation

Expectations with justified limits takes us to satisfaction

Expectations with high limits takes us to frustation

These limits,  are in our own hands,

We are the ones who set them

And we are the ones who choose

To be exploited,  satisfied , frustrated.

So, choose your limit

And choose your happiness,

It’s there…

Within YOU 🙂

 quote-about-frustration

last large

IT’S SUFFOCATING …

cover

Who are we? And, how much control we have on ourselves?

We all must have heard –

“A rotten apple spoils the whole barrel”

How true is it?

appleN

– If you pass from a muddy pond; won’t you get stained?
– If you have a dirty hump beside you; won’t you get dirty?
– If you put a drop of fragrance in a stinking well; what will you smell?
– If the air around you is polluted; won’t you inhale that pollution too?

It appears so straightforward & easy to understand when we read above examples with reference to physical things.

But, how about relating it to your surroundings, to your acquaintances, to your family? Do their behavior, their thinking, and their actions affect our ways of living life? We sometimes feel so confident of our individuality, our principle & values, our way of living life that we never realize our environment also plays an important role in framing our actions.

It is rightly said –

“It’s not only the wrong-doer who is wrong… anyone who supports that wrong-doer is also equally wrong.”

But, now the most challenging question is –

Where to go when whole atmosphere around you is polluted…? It’s suffocating..

wrong doing-1

STOP THINKING…START LIVING…

title

Life is a complex maze. Some keep moving in its tangles without bothering why & where it is taking us. While some of us try to put an extra effort using our logic & reasoning searching for WHY & HOW and keep trying to understand it.

We land up getting some answers but we never end up getting all the answers. The more we dig, more complex & confusing it becomes. And when we are unable to reach the answers, we keep thinking, stressing ourselves, getting worried & anxious.

Just go for a flash back of your own life. How much of it was planned by you? What all worries & tensions were reasonable? In fact, of all the worries how many situations actually took you in trouble? How many of your problems you feel were in your control?

More than 80% of our lives are controlled by destiny. There is no point thinking, planning & worrying much. Live carelessly, & let the things move the way they are moving.

Imagine free flowing water in river. It flows at its own pace & as per the path defined by river bed. The moment we insert some obstruction, pebbles in it, there will be swirls & fluctuations. But, water will still flow in its own direction. These temporary obstructions only create disturbance in flow but does not change its path or destination.

Same goes with our lives. It will move a predefined path & reach a predefined destination. If we let it flow like water without bothering much on why, where, how & when then the journey becomes smooth. But, if we try to over analyze things & interfere by imposing our logical thinking at every step we end up in creating disturbance at every step. But, we can never succeed in changing the path or destination.

DO NOT THINK MUCH,
DO NOT ANALYSE MUCH,
DO NOT PLAN MUCH,
AND DO NOT EXPECT MUCH…

JUST KEEP MOVING,
ENJOYING EVERY STEP,
FACING EVERY CHALLENGE,
ACCEPTING EVERY CHANGE…

FOR LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
IN WHICH THE PATH,
AND THE DESTINATIONS,
ARE ALREADY FIXED…

BE CARELESS,
BE FREE,
STOP THINKING,
START LIVING…!!

e1

e2

Helpless – Powerless – Clueless – Directionless ?

A1

How many of you have come across above words in your life?
How many of you have encountered these feelings?
What to do when we have such feeling?
How to tackle these & try to move forward?
How to accept the hard truth that nothing is in our hands?

There are so many times when we ourselves or our near & dear ones get engulfed in such a situation where there is no way out. We get that urge of thinking it like a nightmare, thinking that it’s not true; it’s just some imagination / illusion. We keep consoling our mind by a simple explanation that everything in this world happens by GOD’s will & we shall accept it. But, at the same time our heart keeps feeling that it’s not true.

It becomes such a helpless situation, you don’t find words to console the affected person, you can see/ feel the pain but you are unable to cure it. It is really a difficult challenge when you want to help but you can’t. All the strength, trust, belief & faith shatters away & you feel weak & powerless. You keep thinking if you could rewind the whole situation & make everything settle down smoothly, but you can’t. You are clueless on how to tackle the situation & you feel like you have lost your capability of sensing, judging, deciding & moving ahead. You feel like running away….running away from your problems, your worries, your fears, but the fact is:

“YOU CAN NEVER RUN AWAY FROM YOURSELF.” Continue reading