WRITER’S BLOCK

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Have you ever experienced Writer’s Block? Probably, I will hear lot of “YES” response for this. Well, who can understand this better than a writer himself/herself?

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“WRITING”- it is more of a passion than a profession. You can never compare it with a 9 to 5 office job. Be it blogging, article writing, content writing or book writing – nothing can be easily defined in a boundary of time and deadlines. Ideas start pouring in our brain all of a sudden, our creativity energizes and our pen gears up with a wonderful pace. It continues and we enjoy the journey. But, sometimes the journey comes to an unexpected “HALT”. Exactly in a same manner as your speeding car comes to a halt due to puncture or breakdown. And worst case is you don’t have a mechanic to set you back on journey. Most of the times, you keep struggling trying to find out, why there is a sudden black-out?

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Where are all your ideas and thoughts? The more you think, the worse it gets. Writing is not something that can be done forcefully. It moves on at its own pace, at its own time, in its own way. And this changes as seasons change. There is a time when all circumstances are in your favor. But, then suddenly you may notice a change. Time changes abruptly, blocking all your writing skills – A WRITER’S BLOCK. It is really disappointing and depressing at times. Especially, when it continues for a longer duration. For someone who loves writing, this “block” is equivalent to starvation. It may sound funny to those who do not write. I hope my writer friends here, will surely understand the concern. You start feeling useless all of a sudden. You do your best efforts to keep yourself back on track – changing surroundings, changing topics, changing writing patterns, reading , interacting and what not.

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This is seriously awful experience and scary too. This is what I am facing for quite a long time and was worried about. However, as I searched more on it, I got to know it’s not just “ME”. Almost everyone faces this at some point of time. People adopt different ways to deal with it and this is what I learnt from them. Do not “RUN” from it, instead learn to “OVERCOME” it. With more than 10 half-written topics, I was totally confused. I start every topic, with a new zeal & then I see its not taking a proper shape. I give up, take a break, relax and start afresh on a new topic. Months have passed with this exercise, and it’s driving me crazy now. There is nothing worse than loosing all hope. So, today again I stood up, to fight against my “Block”. “YES” – nothing is impossible, nothing is permanent & nothing is difficult.

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I have to get away of my fears, I have to get away of my “WRITER’S BLOCK”.

So, before starting my half-left topics, I felt why not, I shall start with my fear first. I am here writing about this “WRITER’S BLOCK” and I would love to have your experiences, your guidance, and your ways of dealing with it.

It’s always easy to walk on a smooth road,

Challenge is to walk on a rocky road.

It’s always easy to drive a perfect car

Challenge is to fix an unfit car for driving.

It’s always easy to enjoy autumn season,

Challenge is to enjoy the chills & the burns too.

It’s always easy to do your best in favorable circumstances,

Challenge is to do your best in unfavorable times too.

It’s always easy to run away from difficulties,

Challenge is to stand strong & face them.

It’s always easy to climb up to peak.

Challenge is to stay there without falling.

It’s always easy to welcome success,

Challenge is to welcome failures

And be confident that

Beyond them lies your success.

And the biggest challenge is,

-“TO TAKE THE CHALLENGE”

Today, I am taking my Writer’s Block as a challenge, and I am confident that I will be able to overcome it with my faith, confidence, determination and will power.

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FORMULA FOR LIFE + + * *

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Formula, Equations, Theorems, Derivations, Rules, Protocols – We have them all around us guiding us.

What to do? How to do? Where to do? When to do? Why to do?

But, applying these formulas is not so easy. All of them do come with certain conditions, limitations and exceptions. If we ignore them, we will land up with wrong results.

How about our life? Does it also come with a formula, a set of instructions, a collection of guidelines?

Well, not exactly the mathematical formulas, but there are rules and protocols based on previous experiences. These are passed on from generation to generation based on the experiences of our ancestors.

Now, have you ever played the “Chinese whisper” game?

It is a game played around the world, in which one person whispers a message to another, which is passed through a line of people until the last player announces the message to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in the retelling, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly, and often amusingly, from the one uttered by the first.

With this what I am trying to emphasize is that when the rules and protocols get passed on they differ significantly from the actual one. The most common flaw that stays is the inclusion of conditions and limitations. What may be a right step in one situation can prove to be a wrong step in the other.

For instance,  it’s good to help the needy and poor. But, doing so to lure them for votes and politics is wrong.

Every rule is conditional. Many a times we follow the rules, but leave the conditions behind.

Have you ever faced these questions-

What to do? How to do? Where to do? When to do? Why to do?

We try to explore them to some extent. But, still there are lots of people who live their life without searching for answers to these questions. Instead of thinking, how we want to live our life, how we can decide what/when/where  we can do, we just look at our parents, society, friends and colleagues. Instead of deciding our own path, and analyzing the pros and cons we just start moving on their path. We blindly follow all others.

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Is it the right approach?

With this analysis, I am not trying to offend or dis-respect our elders. They do teach us good lessons and we have a lot to learn from their experiences. The only thing is, we shall understand the meaning behind every approach, every step. We shall follow the path shown by them, not just for the sake of following but for the sake of learning and understanding. We shall always be convinced of what we do. Being a blind follower takes us away from reality and satisfaction.

Lets share one story.

There used to be a closed room with a big ladder. On top of the ladder there was a platform with bananas on it. Then, monkeys were left in the room. Location of bananas was shown to them. The room was closed and a camera was placed in the room. All  monkeys approached the ladder. Some of them quickly started climbing and others were  left behind. They, then tried pulling back the other monkeys climbing the ladder. The struggle continued and after a while some of the monkeys  were replaced with new ones. Monkeys were replaced again and again. Every time, a new monkey entered, he started following the same activity. After a few more attempts, even the bananas kept on top was removed.

Now what?

Nothing changed?

The monkeys still continued climbing and pulling down.

They just continued climbing looking at their previous counterparts. But, they are not aware of the motive behind it – Bananas. The motive was gone, but they all still continued the same activity. None of them bothered about why they are doing so? What will they achieve on climbing?

This is what happens with most of us. We are not aware of the motive, circumstances and requirements. We just become a blind follower without analyzing what & why we are doing?

I will just conclude saying:

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN MIND,

WHICH CAN THINK AND ANALYSE.

NEVER BECOME A BLIND FOLLOWER.

JUST THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!!

LIFE DOES NOT COME WITH A UNIVERSAL FORMULA,

IT’S YOU AND ONLY YOU WHO CAN CREATE IT FOR YOUR LIFE!!

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EXCEPTIONAL EXPECTATIONS

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“Expectations” – Almost all of us are surrounded by this word, this feeling. There are different levels, different platforms and different viewpoints for these expectations, but the absence of “expectations”- it’s the rarest of rare.

Seems like, the above lines have triggered your brain. So, what are you thinking?

How true it is?

I too have expectations.

From my family, friends, collegues , office, government and the list go on and on.

It’s said that ideally we should not have expectations. The more you expect, the more you suffer from disappointment. But, are we able to fit these ideologies practically? Is it wrong

To expect care, concern and love from family.

To expect help, trust and understanding from friends.

To expect coordination, cooperation and support from colleagues.

To expect respect, recognition and justice in office.

To expect good infrastructure, law and order from the government.

To expect good and hygienic food in restaurants.

To expect reliable products from shopkeepers.

And, here comes the twist.

What are our Expectations?

What are our Aspirations?

What do we Deserve?

What is our Right?

We often mix and use all of these interchangeably.

What we deserve and what is our right, both have realistic boundaries. Their levels can be clearly defined.

If you have written all your answers correctly, you deserve good marks.

If you can give this much of the output, you deserve this salary/gift.

If you pay your taxes on time, you have the right to get better infrastructure.

If you pay in a restaurant / shop, you have to right to claim quality and reliability of product received.

But, what we expect, what are our ambitions/ aspirations, they do not have any pre-defined limits. At times we set these limits as per our desires and at times there are no boundaries at all. They are spread across a vast range. They totally depend on us. Our thinking, our efforts and our understanding.

If you did your papers well and expect to be class topper, it’s a limit set by you. You don’t deserve it unless there is none of the other students who have performed better than you.

If you did your best in the office, you expect X% increment. Again a limit set by you. You deserve best increment, but it may be less, equal or more than X%.

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If you expect care and love of family, trust of friends, coordination from colleagues, it is just your wish, your limit.  It is not necessary that what we expect is what they will give. They will give as per their wish, their limits.

It’s up to us to decide on the levels of expectations, but we can not control beyond this decision. Even after doing our best and setting a good example from our side we need to be well aware of the fact, that we can set our limits but we cannot define / guide others. They will behave the way they want. When they do not synchronize with our level, we start cribbing.

Is it right? Are we authorized to speak for limits of other people?

The answer is – “NO”.

Do your best. Do what satisfies you. But, not with the feeling of expecting back the same return but with the feeling of satisfying your own conscious.

EXP FM OTHERS

And now, last but not the least – our aspirations, dreams and ambitions.

They are the ones for which we are passionate. Pursuing these gives us contentment, pleasure, happiness and a feeling of utmost satisfaction, a feeling of doing something worthy and meaningful, a feeling of living our life in true sense! It’s our own efforts, decisions, and hard work that makes these dreams true. Aspiration is not an expectation from others, but from yourself. You have all the capability to control it, achieve it, live it.

It’s our right, to get our RIGHTS,

It’s the result of our efforts, which is what we DESERVE,

It’s the limit of our EXPECTATIONS, which decide if they can be real,

It’s our determination, which helps in achieving our ASPIRATION.

Setting up exceptionally high standards of our expectations only ends up making our life a mess full of complaints, dissatisfaction and disappointment. But, having no expectation at all may also end up with people taking our advantage. It’s up to us to clearly define the limits of these expectations. In my view, they shall neither be exceptionally low nor exceptionally high.

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Expectations with low limits take us to exploitation

Expectations with justified limits takes us to satisfaction

Expectations with high limits takes us to frustation

These limits,  are in our own hands,

We are the ones who set them

And we are the ones who choose

To be exploited,  satisfied , frustrated.

So, choose your limit

And choose your happiness,

It’s there…

Within YOU 🙂

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BLACK OUT !!

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Life is made up of varied experiences, some pleasant, some unpleasant and some are just a part of normal routine. We say at times, to forget the past, not to expect from future & live in our present. On the contrary, we also say we should learn from past experiences, we should do our future planning & live our present building a strong foundation for our future.

Life never comes with a predefined set of correct & incorrect rules. Circumstances & experiences build different energy levels around us & our actions are just carried away by these energies. We all ride on high & low waves, on positive & negative energies, on good & bad mood swings, on pleasant & unpleasant feelings, on relevant & irrelevant actions & this is how our life moves – sometimes accelerating, sometimes retarding.

But, the most troublesome part is when it seems to come to a HALT. When you just don’t see the way, when you are unable to decide where to move & when you feel trapped in a black box. Mind goes blank & you don’t know what next?

We leave all on GOD & on destiny & just keep waiting for what’s going to happen next.
It’s true that, this world is ruled by Almighty GOD & we shall accept that all happens with GOD’s wish. Also, it’s good if you stop waiting for results & just leave all on GOD. But, it’s not good if you don’t take any actions also.

What’s the way out when you are so engulfed by circumstances around you, that your mind looses sense of direction, power of thinking, judging, deciding & strength of accepting the reality?
A complete “BLACK OUT” situation…!!

Can anyone throw light on this & guide how to come out of this Blackout?

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Emotional PUPPETS

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We all must have heard or seen “Puppet show” sometime in our lives. Puppets- Hand made dolls with strings attached to them. Humans catch hold of these strings & make them move as per their wish enabling to act a drama or dance. They just move as per their instructor’s direction.

Now, have you ever thought what would happen that if these puppets have emotions also?

If not, just give a thought to Who Are You?

Yes, we Humans are “Emotional Puppets”.

All our strings are in hands of “GOD” & though we think we have mind, we have heart, we can make decisions based on logics & feelings, but the fact is all that is going to happen is already destined by GOD. We just have to accept GOD’s will.

My only question to GOD is, when HE is to everything as per HIS wish, when HE has to treat us just like puppets, when our lives are just a play/drama for him, why he gave us emotions, why he gave us feelings?

Why we feel attached & detached, why we feel happy & sad, why we feel the pleasure & why we feel the pain?

The Law of Differential

Here, I want to talk about the “difference” in value of some variable in a particular closed system & its significance with respect to “tolerable” or “sustainable” limit of that particular system.

Differential pressure, Differential temperature, Differential voltage —-

Hey, are we talking about Physics here?
Absolutely NOT! Please don’t leave this page.
But, yes my interpretation is based on Physics.

Let’s take an example of a closed tank. Consider it being filled with some fluid at some pressure. Outside pressure will be atmospheric pressure & therefore the walls of tank will experience a differential pressure across them. When inside pressure reaches a particular threshold value (that depends on wall material, thickness & strength), then any increase in pressure beyond that may lead to rupture or explosion of tank walls. To prevent it, we use systems to vent our excess pressure as soon as we reach close to overpressure limit.

Now, if we take human body as “Tank” & our Emotions & Feelings as “Pressure”, we will get the answer of why we feel uncomfortable when we don’t express exactly what we feel? At times we hold our actual emotions & feelings deep inside us. Sometimes, we are so lost in grief that we don’t even feel like sharing them with the outer world & there are several reasons for it:

We don’t want them to get troubled by our troubles.
We don’t want to listen to their advice & sympathy.
We don’t want them to know we are so week.
We don’t want to be a burden searching for a shoulder to cry on.
We feel guilty & hopeless and want to get cut-off from outer world.

So, we end up holding all our pain & grief deep within us. Not talking, not communicating & not sharing with anyone around us. We may try to behave & act normally but our sub-conscious never gets affected by this illusion. There are times when it not just the other world from which we try to hide our feelings. We hide it from ourselves also. We try to be strong & keep manipulating our mind keeping ourselves busy & normal. This is really needed to come out of grief. But, when we sleep & as we wake up, our sub-conscious mind is more dominant & we feel the pain, depression & discomfort.

We need to be strong, we need to console emotions in our heart by giving logic from our mind, we need to keep ourselves busy, we need to adopt normal routine & we need to try hard to get out of our grief.
But, we should also keep in mind how strong we are? How much we can really hold? We need to find sometime for talking to ourselves & our near & dear ones. Healing from grief is a gradual process & adopting short-cuts can turn out to be risky.

So, it’s the task of close friends & family members to closely monitor the grieving person & let him/her vent out the actual feelings before reaching a threshold limit of their tolerance level.
Every human is different & every grief is different so there cannot be any specific guideline on healing time & ways to heal. Coping up with grief is a unique process for every individual & no one can guide you what you should do & what you shouldn’t.

You yourself will have to find a way for your healing. You have to introspect yourself with honesty. Too much differential between your sub-conscious & conscious mind is not good for your physical & mental health. As a consequence, you may have sleepless nights; lose your appetite, headache etc. degrading your health further.

You will surely have people around you who care for you. Never hesitate to take their support & express what you feel.

The only key to come out of depression is –
“TO EXPRESS AND NOT TO SUPPRESS”.
“TO ACCEPT AND NOT TO FORGET”.
“TO FACE THE REALITY AND NOT TO RUN”.
“TO TALK AND NOT TO STAY SILENT”.

No one knows you better than you yourself. You are your doctor & you have to decide your healing process. Please make sure that there is not much of difference between your sub-conscious & conscious mind. Please make sure that you are not lying to yourself.

Remember you are very important for your family & friends.

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

GOD also helps those who help themselves.

Hope that GOD will be kind you.

Note: It would be helpful if readers can give their suggestions on ways to cope up with grief.

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Nature Vs Habit

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“I do like this, I behave like this, I act like this, I react like this…. Because this is how I am”.

There are so many things related to our lifestyle, to our actions that we believe to be our very own way. We consider it as a part of our individuality & think as if we can never change it. There are times when we see our own shortcomings / negatives but we don’t put much effort rectifying those thinking that its part of our nature.

But, the fact lies in identifying the boundary line between “Nature” and “Habit”.

“Nature” – It’s our inbuilt / inherent quality, our characteristics by birth / childhood days. This is something on which we don’t have much control. Our basic behavior is guided by these & even if we make an effort to modify it, it is almost impossible to change it permanently. Somewhere in our sub-conscious, we will always be guided by it.

“Habit” – These are inculcated by us ourselves & mostly depend on the circumstances & environment around us. But, we actually have full control on these & if we want & if we try we can modify these.

Sometimes, we consider a prolonged habit as a part of our nature. So, it is very necessary to spend some time with oneself, to do some self-introspection, identify what needs to changed & classify if you can really change it?

“WE CANNOT CHOOSE OUR NATURE, UNLESS WE HAVE VERY STRONG DETERMINATION,
BUT, WE CAN CERTAINLY CHOOSE OUR HABITS”.

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