RELATIONSHIPS REDEFINED…

RELATIONSHIP BLOG

“Relationships” — The word is so big…the meaning is even bigger.

Let’s start with the dictionary meaning — “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”

So, here I am going to talk about relationships of people…how they are connected….and what does that means…something that is beyond dictionary meaning. More than half of the world deals with problems in one relation or the other. So, I am just trying to explore the essence of this word w.r.t. different types of relations that we are engaged with.

Even before we take birth on this earth, we are bonded by a word called “Relationship”. The first relation we are associated with is that of a Mother & Child. And the day we are born we are tied up with so many bondings…so many relations…our grandparents, parents, siblings, uncles, aunts and lot more.

And there is one more relation….a unique type with the one who can’t be seen by eyes…who can’t be heard by ears…that’s our relation with GOD.

We don’t have the faintest idea of what these words means and it is assumed that we will learn as we grow. These blood relations are implied on us not by choice but by GOD, by destiny… and as we grow we mould their meanings the way we like.

There are few relations that are based on our choice as well… – FRIENDS & SPOUSE … but we often see troubles in these too….Why? Does that mean we were not wise enough to choose the right candidate….? Does that mean we are not qualified enough to choose? Or does that mean we don’t really understand what to look for…what to expect for..?

For some of us, they just remain words by which we are supposed to greet each other….for some they become implied boundations which we are just supposed to follow without an escape route….. for some they are duties that are to be followed too religiously in a particular, defined manner ….and  for some they are “FEELINGS WITH MEANINGS” ….they are feelings to be felt….feelings to be enjoyed…feelings to be cherished…feelings to be expressed… 🙂

Just attaching a tag name of son or brother does not suffice your relation unless your heart speaks with that love and concern for your parents & siblings.

In my perspective, relations are not the words that need to be defined…they are to be understood

This is not mathematics with theorems & definitions… There is no measure for love, affection, care & kindness….

There is no definition for relations…

But there is one truth about relations….if they are pure …they are not for selfishness…they are not for your self- interest…as they involve mutual consent on both sides… They are not for give and take…but they are certainly for exchange of happiness, pleasure & affection from both sides….They have a foundation of trust , faith, & sacrifices…They are not built by force or compulsions…but by feelings inside..

That is why, true relations are ones which don’t fade by distance….for your hearts are always connected…  🙂

I would just like to take few examples,

The relation of Mother & Child :

The purest relation of all…engrossed with love, affection, trust, faith, concern, care..and the list goes on. If we look at an infant baby, it’s Mom who is at the giving end… she feeds , she cares, she sacrifices , she loves…and what she gets in return – “Immense Happiness”. This is the relation which starts when child cannot speak, when the child is not aware of the meanings of words spoken in his/her ears… but still a crying child wants to go in mother’s arm when hungry & father’s arm for roaming around… Have you ever imagined how infant baby understands????

Because infant baby feels it…the love…the care… their pure heart know what is to be felt.

But, when children grow up…, it’s for them to give respect to that love and care with which they are nurtured and grown up. Some children give it and some doesn’t. Some listen to their heart and some listen to their matured brains which works on logic…which thinks about profit & loss… which thinks of business even in relations…

But, Mom’s love …it stays the same…as it was unconditional, without expectations, without any self interest. It’s just that if we respect them, we add on to their happiness and this is the least we can do.

Our relation with GOD :

Have you seen GOD, have you heard GOD, have you talked to HIM…. “NO”. Then, what binds you to HIM…. They are our feelings of course, feeling of trust & faith, feeling which tells us that HE exists, feelings which tells us that HE listens…

So, the same goes with all other relations—- For me

“RELATIONSHIPS MEANS THE EXCHANGE OF FEELINGS OF LOVE, AFFECTION, CARE, CONCERN, TRUST, FAITH, RESPECT ETC. BETWEEN TWO….. AND IF WE CAN FEEL IT…WE CAN GIVE TRUE ESSENCE TO THE WORDS CALLED MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER, SISTER, HUSBAND, WIFE, UNCLE, AUNTS, NEPHEWS, NIECE, FRIENDS AND ABOVE ALL THE ONE AND ONLY ONE—- ALMIGHTY GOD.”

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WELCOME 2013…….!!!!!!!

Happy new year ---- 2013

Everything has a start, and everything comes to an end..

A start begins with hopes and at times with anxieties, with fear… ,

And an end always finishes with experiences…,

But, still nobody likes to be stagnant.

 

To keep moving is the law of life…

To keep changing is the law of nature…!!

For a new beginning, everyone strive..

For the new moments that we want to nurture…!!

 

So here comes something special for us…

Something new for us…

Yes, here comes the new year…!!

And old one now moved rear…!!

 

We welcome this …we greet this..

We have pleasure treating this…!! 

A fresh morning, a fresh year…

The new moments are now near..!!

 

With lots of resolutions

With problems and solutions,

With wishes & promises,

With duties & sacrifices..

 

Wish that this new beginning starts with GOD’s blessings…!!

Wish that this new journey keeps us moving…,

Wish that we follow the right way…,

Wish that we always have good to say….!!

 

Wish your life’s driving cart,

Moves steadily & fast…!!

Wish you all the best for this new start..

Wish you will fulfill all desires of your heart…!!

 

May this New Year bring lots of happiness & prosperity in your life…..

May this year brings you one of the best moments & joys in your life…!!

Have a wonderful year ahead…..!!!!!!!!

WELCOME 2013…!! 🙂

The Importance of: “I” Vs “V”

blog I V

What is “I”?….

Who am “I”?….

What “I” have done?….

What “I” can do?….

“I” is my existence…. “I” is my individuality….

“I” am myself….. “I” am unique….

“I” have been doing so many tasks in the past…. Tasks “I” did with my own hands and with my own “brains” … “I” am responsible for all of those…. “I” am there to take its credits & “I” am there to take its negatives…

“I” can do whatever “I” want…whenever “I” want….whichever way “I” want…

“I” have full control on myself & my thinking…

Above is the misconception that most of us have…the illusion in which we dwell…..But if “I” don’t do anything…why am “I” praised and why am “I” blamed….? Who is there behind me controlling all these actions..? Well,  “I” am just a puppet…who moves the way GOD wants me 2 move….It is “HE” who creates different circumstances……it is “HE” who infuses different thoughts in my Mind…..So, its always “WE” who are responsible for our actions….

Now, does that mean all credit & all blames of our deeds goes to “HIM” ? If yes, how & why are we expected to improve?

This is because human mind has the ability to control its senses…to give a direction to his thinking & his deeds…but in this course of action we should always remember the fact that we are supposed to make rightful efforts for our actions…..and leave its fruits on GOD…..We should surrender all the results on the wish of GOD….Be it positive or negative…..& just focus on our efforts to strive for following the right path…

Always remember that “I” represents “We”..

Sometimes “We” represent ourselves & wishes of “God”…

Sometimes “We” represent our family…

Sometimes “We” represent our friends…

Sometimes “We” represent our department…

Sometimes “We” represent our society…

Sometimes “We” represent our school/college/office…

Sometimes “We” represent our country…

And the few times when I feel that “I” represents “ME”…..those are the times when you surrender yourself to the attribute called “Ahankar” … “Ego”…. “ Excessive Pride” of your doings…. Of thinking that whatever is done by your hands is actually done by you….. The feeling which says.. “I” have done this…. And “I” am super than others in crowd… and yes…you are right in some aspect.

You may not be super…but you are really different …..For this feeling of “Ego”…. takes you away from group…away from your own people… and you stand alone…firmly & rigidly….

Leaving behind the power and flexibility of “We”…leaving behind the togetherness & belongingness…and leaving behind the world that is not just built by “You” and “Me” but by a special world called “We”…. !! 🙂

Lifelong BONDING …… :)

 

marriage

Our life is like an epic…

Our life is like a music,

With new chapters…

And new lyrics….!!

The time has arrived..

To enter a new phase of life,

GOD has made a special bond….

And its time for you to tie the knots…!!

To share your joys & have fun…

To walk together & to run..!!

A lifelong companion..

A wonderful relation…!!

Its time to celebrate…

Its time to rejuvenate..!!

As two lovely hearts, two beautiful souls…

Are here today to take some vows..!!

For starting a new journey together..

And make their life better..,

With lots of love and lots of promises…

With GOD giving His special blessings…!!

Wish you both a wonderful time…

And all the happiness in life…!!

Wish you my DEAR…

A very Happy Married Life..!!

“WEDDINGS REMIND US THAT OUR LIVES HAVE MEANING AND THAT LOVE IS THE STRONGEST BOND, THE HAPPIEST JOY, AND THE LOVELIEST FEELING WE CAN EVER EXPERIENCE”.  -Daphne Rose Kingma

 

 

Joy Of Giving…..!!!!

gift

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 
― Mother Teresa

Gifts are not objects…,
Gifts are feelings…!!
It can be a rose petal or a gold coin…,,
What counts are the feelings behind…!!
Gifts don’t come with a price tag…,
They are priceless…!!
They are given not for formalities…,
But for memories..!!
Gifts are presents…,
To make your present memorable..!…
With GOD’s grace you have everything..,
But if someone’s wishes comes along with those…,
Don’t you think its worth keeping…!!
Its worth cherishing…!!
Hope it now sounds convincing…,,
That a gift is worth receiving…,!!
And you can return the favour…,
Not by questioning…??
But by understanding…,,
That what it means…??
Gifts are for joys..:)
And not for Why’s.??
Yes, its give and take..,.
A smile on your face..!!
A respect for the gift…
Is what you can give..!!
So, cheer up…& gear up…
Its time to celebrate…!!
Wish life gives you more and more reasons 2 celebrate…,
Wish life gives us more and more reasons 2 give gifts..!!
Its how the happiness spreads…
And the depressions shifts…!!
May GOD shower His blessings…,
On someone as special as you..!!
May your life be filled with happiness…,
As its meant for people like you…!!
“Give cheerfully and freely. It is the energy behind the giving that matters so do not give grudgingly. The law of cause and effect guarantees that you shall receive plenty for what you give.

—–David Cameron Gikandi

So….friends….keep giving GIFTS….:)

THE JOY OF GIVING IS BETTER THAN THE JOY OF RECEIVING

Best Of “BEST”

Best Of Best i.e., “BESTEST”.

This is what most of us looks forward for. It’s a general human nature that we look for the Bestest options.

Our thirst for satisfaction rarely dies, we keep yearning for “more”. Of course, this is essential for our growth also , if we don’t have desires, if we don’t have aims and targets we will just make ourselves stagnant. But, the point is , to what extent we should yearn for more? At times, we become so impatient that instead of enjoying what we already have, we start getting frustrated for what we don’t have. Instead of being thankful, satisfied and contented for 80-90% of the good things that we have, we waste time worrying about the remaining 10-20% that we don’t have?

It happens with most of us that if we are satisfied on personal front, we are dissatisfied on professional front, and vice versa. And at times if we are satisfied with everything in our life, we get dissatisfied by comparing ourselves to others.

I have came across several instances, like an employee complaining about the salary….then when salary comes to satisfactory level, they start complaining about type of work, then when they get good and more work, they start complaining they are over pressurised, then if superiors increases their team size to reduce their pressure they will complain that superiors don’t trust their abilities… and it becomes a vicious cycle which goes on and on… Please stop being a “Complaint Box” as it only messes up your own life.

The solution is very easy … Just spend some time with yourself…do your introspection….try to set your “PRIORITIES” and try to focus on things that matters more to you. Just find out what holds more significance for you- is it family, career, money, power, name or fame…..? Also it is important to be determined and committed to meet your goals and to set new goals once your defined goals are achieved but at the same time one should also learn to be patient….to move step by step – “No One Gets A Sudden RISE, Not Even The Sun..!!’

Always remember – “YOU CANNOT GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS”………

“ KABHI KISI KO MUKAMMAL JAHAN NAHI MILTA…, KISI KO ZAMEE, KISI KO AASMA NAHI MILTA….”

BE POSITIVE ++++

The way we think…the way we feel…the way we accept circumstances around us…it regulates the energy within us. If we think positive….then positive energy flows within us and vice versa. Even if we don’t go by this logic….it is sure that there is no harm in thinking positive & no good in thinking negative.

Then, why negative ?…Be Positive..

But, how can we feel positive when something wrong happens with us ?

If we accept few truths rather facts it will be easy to cope up with all positives and negatives in a justified way.

1)    Happiness & Sorrow both are temporary. None of them is going to last forever.
2)    Nobody’s life is a path of roses.
3)   Everything won’t happen the way you want, because its not you who is ruling the world.
4)   Excess of anything is bad (and this includes happiness also…yes…excess of happiness is also bad)

If everything happens the way we want that may also be harmful.

For instance, if you keep driving at full speed there is high probability of accident… so we have speed breakers on roads. They don’t stop us …but controls our speed so that we may keep moving safely. These speed breakers are not obstacles and are insignificant part of our journey…what matters is our Destination…

Same applies to our life… we face few bad experiences and feel depressed and disappointed. But if we see in long term, then we realise that either those experiences have taught us something positive or they were so insignificant that we don’t even remember them. We should always look at our Long term goals and not Short term goals.

Life is beautiful…and we should learn to enjoy all ups and downs..

Don’t try to race too fast and miss enjoying happy moments of life in that race…

Day and Night both are important and beautiful ….but we realise that value only because we have seen both.

Now, the question is how can a negative situation be accepted positively?

The answer is see the positive out of it… all bad experiences teaches us something so welcome them as a learning experience. It is difficult and cannot be implemented on all situations but if we try to change the way we look at the situation… we will gradually start feeling positive.

Most of the circumstances are just a matter of our perception. Just see the world around you…and you will see two categories of people :
1)    Who are depressed , sad , poor …whose every moment is filled with pain, hunger and uncertainty. But do they keep complaining…No…give them a good job and assurance they won’t be hungry and they may become happy.
2)    Who are born with silver spoon in their mouth…they have all luxuries and don’t seem to have any struggle or any reason to be unhappy. But are they happy always…a slight fall in their shares may trigger their mental peace.

So , no one is always Happy and no one is always Unhappy. And everyone has different priorities and different reasons to be happy. Now, what we need to understand is that we have to see both happy and unhappy moments in our life span and it is up to us how well we deal with them.

Never be over whelmed by your success or happiness and never be over depressed and frustrated by your bad experiences. Its all a part of life …try to be neutral and be justified in your reactions.

GOD has given us this beautiful life….family , friends…and lot more and if HE is also giving us some problems…they are just because HE wants to test our faith in HIM or to make us more STRONG… and more strong means…he is preparing us to climb the next ladder …

There is an example of how important struggles are in our life (from You Can Win by Shiv Khera) :

A caterpillar has to struggle a lot to come out of shell and become a butterfly so once a human thought of helping it out to come out of its shell.
Result : Its wings were not strong enough and it died soon.
Moral : Struggles are important in life as they give us more strength & maturity.

Nothing in this world is impossible…You just have to decide what direction you want to give to your thinking..

Wear green glasses and the world around you is green …Wear black glasses and the world around you is black..

According to me…Best option is :

See your present with White glasses and DWELL IN REALITY…!!
See your future with Green glasses and BE OPTIMISTIC…!!

“ THE POSITIVE THINKER SEES THE INVISIBLE, FEELS THE INTANGIBLE, AND ACHIEVES THE IMPOSSIBLE.”