REASONING – “THE REASONS”

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REASONING – A word with which all of are familiar, a word with which we deal in our day to day life.

We are always involved in reasoning for something or other, be it what to eat, what to wear, where to go, what to do, what to buy, what to say & the list goes on.

Today I would like to focus on the reasoning for “REASONS”.

REASON – “An explanation, justification, logical thinking & understanding for an action or event.”

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Every rational thinker will always apply reason to & for everything. In fact, we all adopt rational approach for most of the things in our lives. But the question arises- Why & How these reasons impact our decisions, how they guide us on what to do and what not to do?

Are reasons just a medium/ path to reach our pre-defined / desired destination? Or they serve as guide which tells us which path to follow?

Reasoning is actually helping us in taking decisions & in attaining our goals, our targets, our focal points. It is these goals which lead us to land up in the process of reasoning.

For instance, when you decide to become an engineer, you have a goal in front of you & to achieve this goal you find a reason to pursue a degree in engineering.

When you decide to have lunch, you have the desire to eat (may be for hunger, may be for your taste buds) & then you find a reason to decide what to eat?

David Hume’s quote is the best fit here:

“REASONS IS, AND OUGHT ONLY TO BE THE SLAVE OF THE PASSIONS, AND CAN NEVER PRETEND TO ANY OTHER OFFICE THAN TO SERVE AND OBEY THEM.”

So, it’s our desires/ passions that gives us a destination & thereafter, we start finding reasons to reach that. These reasons give shape to our actions.

For fulfilling our wishes / desires & reaching our goals we start questioning ourselves? We start analyzing, why, where, what, how & when? With answer to every question, we start getting reasons & paths & we start deciding our action plan.

Leaving apart, the impulsive / sensory reflexes, where our body responds much faster than we think, all other actions are guided by some reasoning behind them.

There is always some logic, some justification, and some explanation for what we do.

But, everyone has different reasons for same circumstances. All of us have different priorities, preferences & tastes. So, even when we feel that we are thinking & analyzing with our best ability, it does not mean that we are always reaching the best or correct judgment. Every action has reasoning but every reason does not reach the same conclusion. This is what makes this world so complex & diversified. Even when we talk on some general issues, where we want to have a universal answer, we are unable to reach a well agreed conclusion. Every individual has a unique way thinking, a different perception & viewpoint. We all do reasoning, but we reach the conclusion that appeals us the most.

We choose the path that seems most comfortable to us i.e., we act in a way which helps us in driving us towards our desires.

As the reasons are not a result of honest & logical understanding but in fact the slave of our own desires, we all tend to behave differently.

So, in a nutshell we can conclude, it is not the logic, it is not the circumstances, it is not the right or wrong concept, it is actually the “REASONS” which tell us what we ought to do? And, these “REASONS” show us the way as per our “DESIRES”. So, we ought to do what we like, we ought to do what we want , we ought to do what we feel comfortable, we ought to do what we enjoy, but for all these questions we find an explanation in the form of “REASONS”, we justify each & everything with a rational approach & thereafter act accordingly.

“REASONS TELL US HOW TO GET WHAT WE WANT”.

And what we want is told to us by our feelings/ desires.

Reasons help us in reaching an agreement to behave / act in a particular manner.

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But, at times we must have heard of “Irrational” behavior also. Although we say that reason is a way of rational thinking, but in my view “irrational” responses are also a result of reasons. Yes, at times we have some desire but we are unable to find a proper logic or explanation to fulfill it. Those are the times when we tend to think that everything does not need a reason & we move ahead to fulfill our desire. But, actually here also we are giving a reason, that “everything does not need a reason”.

So, this is the power of reason.

And this clarifies the strong relationship of reasons & actions.

Every move, every decision, and every action – everything is told to us by “REASONS”.

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IT’S SUFFOCATING …

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Who are we? And, how much control we have on ourselves?

We all must have heard –

“A rotten apple spoils the whole barrel”

How true is it?

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- If you pass from a muddy pond; won’t you get stained?
- If you have a dirty hump beside you; won’t you get dirty?
- If you put a drop of fragrance in a stinking well; what will you smell?
- If the air around you is polluted; won’t you inhale that pollution too?

It appears so straightforward & easy to understand when we read above examples with reference to physical things.

But, how about relating it to your surroundings, to your acquaintances, to your family? Do their behavior, their thinking, and their actions affect our ways of living life? We sometimes feel so confident of our individuality, our principle & values, our way of living life that we never realize our environment also plays an important role in framing our actions.

It is rightly said –

“It’s not only the wrong-doer who is wrong… anyone who supports that wrong-doer is also equally wrong.”

But, now the most challenging question is –

Where to go when whole atmosphere around you is polluted…? It’s suffocating..

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STOP THINKING…START LIVING…

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Life is a complex maze. Some keep moving in its tangles without bothering why & where it is taking us. While some of us try to put an extra effort using our logic & reasoning searching for WHY & HOW and keep trying to understand it.

We land up getting some answers but we never end up getting all the answers. The more we dig, more complex & confusing it becomes. And when we are unable to reach the answers, we keep thinking, stressing ourselves, getting worried & anxious.

Just go for a flash back of your own life. How much of it was planned by you? What all worries & tensions were reasonable? In fact, of all the worries how many situations actually took you in trouble? How many of your problems you feel were in your control?

More than 80% of our lives are controlled by destiny. There is no point thinking, planning & worrying much. Live carelessly, & let the things move the way they are moving.

Imagine free flowing water in river. It flows at its own pace & as per the path defined by river bed. The moment we insert some obstruction, pebbles in it, there will be swirls & fluctuations. But, water will still flow in its own direction. These temporary obstructions only create disturbance in flow but does not change its path or destination.

Same goes with our lives. It will move a predefined path & reach a predefined destination. If we let it flow like water without bothering much on why, where, how & when then the journey becomes smooth. But, if we try to over analyze things & interfere by imposing our logical thinking at every step we end up in creating disturbance at every step. But, we can never succeed in changing the path or destination.

DO NOT THINK MUCH,
DO NOT ANALYSE MUCH,
DO NOT PLAN MUCH,
AND DO NOT EXPECT MUCH…

JUST KEEP MOVING,
ENJOYING EVERY STEP,
FACING EVERY CHALLENGE,
ACCEPTING EVERY CHANGE…

FOR LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
IN WHICH THE PATH,
AND THE DESTINATIONS,
ARE ALREADY FIXED…

BE CARELESS,
BE FREE,
STOP THINKING,
START LIVING…!!

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Helpless – Powerless – Clueless – Directionless ?

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How many of you have come across above words in your life?
How many of you have encountered these feelings?
What to do when we have such feeling?
How to tackle these & try to move forward?
How to accept the hard truth that nothing is in our hands?

There are so many times when we ourselves or our near & dear ones get engulfed in such a situation where there is no way out. We get that urge of thinking it like a nightmare, thinking that it’s not true; it’s just some imagination / illusion. We keep consoling our mind by a simple explanation that everything in this world happens by GOD’s will & we shall accept it. But, at the same time our heart keeps feeling that it’s not true.

It becomes such a helpless situation, you don’t find words to console the affected person, you can see/ feel the pain but you are unable to cure it. It is really a difficult challenge when you want to help but you can’t. All the strength, trust, belief & faith shatters away & you feel weak & powerless. You keep thinking if you could rewind the whole situation & make everything settle down smoothly, but you can’t. You are clueless on how to tackle the situation & you feel like you have lost your capability of sensing, judging, deciding & moving ahead. You feel like running away….running away from your problems, your worries, your fears, but the fact is:

“YOU CAN NEVER RUN AWAY FROM YOURSELF.” Continue reading

BLACK OUT !!

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Life is made up of varied experiences, some pleasant, some unpleasant and some are just a part of normal routine. We say at times, to forget the past, not to expect from future & live in our present. On the contrary, we also say we should learn from past experiences, we should do our future planning & live our present building a strong foundation for our future.

Life never comes with a predefined set of correct & incorrect rules. Circumstances & experiences build different energy levels around us & our actions are just carried away by these energies. We all ride on high & low waves, on positive & negative energies, on good & bad mood swings, on pleasant & unpleasant feelings, on relevant & irrelevant actions & this is how our life moves – sometimes accelerating, sometimes retarding.

But, the most troublesome part is when it seems to come to a HALT. When you just don’t see the way, when you are unable to decide where to move & when you feel trapped in a black box. Mind goes blank & you don’t know what next?

We leave all on GOD & on destiny & just keep waiting for what’s going to happen next.
It’s true that, this world is ruled by Almighty GOD & we shall accept that all happens with GOD’s wish. Also, it’s good if you stop waiting for results & just leave all on GOD. But, it’s not good if you don’t take any actions also.

What’s the way out when you are so engulfed by circumstances around you, that your mind looses sense of direction, power of thinking, judging, deciding & strength of accepting the reality?
A complete “BLACK OUT” situation…!!

Can anyone throw light on this & guide how to come out of this Blackout?

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Emotional PUPPETS

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We all must have heard or seen “Puppet show” sometime in our lives. Puppets- Hand made dolls with strings attached to them. Humans catch hold of these strings & make them move as per their wish enabling to act a drama or dance. They just move as per their instructor’s direction.

Now, have you ever thought what would happen that if these puppets have emotions also?

If not, just give a thought to Who Are You?

Yes, we Humans are “Emotional Puppets”.

All our strings are in hands of “GOD” & though we think we have mind, we have heart, we can make decisions based on logics & feelings, but the fact is all that is going to happen is already destined by GOD. We just have to accept GOD’s will.

My only question to GOD is, when HE is to everything as per HIS wish, when HE has to treat us just like puppets, when our lives are just a play/drama for him, why he gave us emotions, why he gave us feelings?

Why we feel attached & detached, why we feel happy & sad, why we feel the pleasure & why we feel the pain?

The Law of Differential

Here, I want to talk about the “difference” in value of some variable in a particular closed system & its significance with respect to “tolerable” or “sustainable” limit of that particular system.

Differential pressure, Differential temperature, Differential voltage —-

Hey, are we talking about Physics here?
Absolutely NOT! Please don’t leave this page.
But, yes my interpretation is based on Physics.

Let’s take an example of a closed tank. Consider it being filled with some fluid at some pressure. Outside pressure will be atmospheric pressure & therefore the walls of tank will experience a differential pressure across them. When inside pressure reaches a particular threshold value (that depends on wall material, thickness & strength), then any increase in pressure beyond that may lead to rupture or explosion of tank walls. To prevent it, we use systems to vent our excess pressure as soon as we reach close to overpressure limit.

Now, if we take human body as “Tank” & our Emotions & Feelings as “Pressure”, we will get the answer of why we feel uncomfortable when we don’t express exactly what we feel? At times we hold our actual emotions & feelings deep inside us. Sometimes, we are so lost in grief that we don’t even feel like sharing them with the outer world & there are several reasons for it:

We don’t want them to get troubled by our troubles.
We don’t want to listen to their advice & sympathy.
We don’t want them to know we are so week.
We don’t want to be a burden searching for a shoulder to cry on.
We feel guilty & hopeless and want to get cut-off from outer world.

So, we end up holding all our pain & grief deep within us. Not talking, not communicating & not sharing with anyone around us. We may try to behave & act normally but our sub-conscious never gets affected by this illusion. There are times when it not just the other world from which we try to hide our feelings. We hide it from ourselves also. We try to be strong & keep manipulating our mind keeping ourselves busy & normal. This is really needed to come out of grief. But, when we sleep & as we wake up, our sub-conscious mind is more dominant & we feel the pain, depression & discomfort.

We need to be strong, we need to console emotions in our heart by giving logic from our mind, we need to keep ourselves busy, we need to adopt normal routine & we need to try hard to get out of our grief.
But, we should also keep in mind how strong we are? How much we can really hold? We need to find sometime for talking to ourselves & our near & dear ones. Healing from grief is a gradual process & adopting short-cuts can turn out to be risky.

So, it’s the task of close friends & family members to closely monitor the grieving person & let him/her vent out the actual feelings before reaching a threshold limit of their tolerance level.
Every human is different & every grief is different so there cannot be any specific guideline on healing time & ways to heal. Coping up with grief is a unique process for every individual & no one can guide you what you should do & what you shouldn’t.

You yourself will have to find a way for your healing. You have to introspect yourself with honesty. Too much differential between your sub-conscious & conscious mind is not good for your physical & mental health. As a consequence, you may have sleepless nights; lose your appetite, headache etc. degrading your health further.

You will surely have people around you who care for you. Never hesitate to take their support & express what you feel.

The only key to come out of depression is –
“TO EXPRESS AND NOT TO SUPPRESS”.
“TO ACCEPT AND NOT TO FORGET”.
“TO FACE THE REALITY AND NOT TO RUN”.
“TO TALK AND NOT TO STAY SILENT”.

No one knows you better than you yourself. You are your doctor & you have to decide your healing process. Please make sure that there is not much of difference between your sub-conscious & conscious mind. Please make sure that you are not lying to yourself.

Remember you are very important for your family & friends.

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

GOD also helps those who help themselves.

Hope that GOD will be kind you.

Note: It would be helpful if readers can give their suggestions on ways to cope up with grief.

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